Tag Archive for struggling

Blinded by the light

…. isn’t that a song title?

Whether it be the Manfred Mann Earth Band in 1975 or The Streets 2004 hit that springs to mind, it felt like the perfect title for this piece.

Today at a Multi Level Marketing Meeting in a lovely Portsmouth hotel, I found myself being blinded by the light.  Only in this instance it was from the bar.  A bar that, having visited several times before I had never noticed before, and from the picture you will hopeful quickly see why.


The entire bar looks like it is sat on a light box, here in this google photo it looks beautiful, but in the cold light of day in a bar where the main lighting was coming from this.  It meant that I was literally ^blinded^ by it.

Thankfully I have a guide dog who I can target with “find the bar” she managed to navigate me to a gap between the bar stools and I waited for someone to serve me.

And after what felt like Fifteen minutes, but was probably more like two the staff member who was stood behind the bar spoke!

It turned out that she had been stood their The entire time and was waiting for me to order, she hadn’t seen me approach the bar, so was not aware of Fizz, we spoke and she was very apologetic.  Asking me to take a seat and she would bring my coffee over.

So, back to my seat me and Fizz went, when just a short moment later she arrived with my coffee and apologised AGAIN (and I quote her here)

….for not introducing myself as your server and asking how I could assist you.

And explained that my coffee would be free of charge, as way of her apology.  I insisted I would pay for my coffee and she had more than made up for the mistake, but she insisted her manager had agreed that I was not to pay for my drink.

I took a photo of the view I had from my seat, I had ensured we moved away from the bright glaring light of the bar, while taking the photo I managed to get the image in a way that I ACTUALLY saw the view, along with a clear photograph of it too.

Clear photograph of bar interior looking out towards the hotel entrance

Blurred interior view from the seat I had at the bar interior looking out towards the entrance to the hptel

Next time I find myself at The Marriott Hotel, I shall ask one of my friends to go to the bar for me.  Because as mush as I like my coffee; I feel guilty for accepting one free of charge.

And on the subject of the soundtrack to this post, despite being in my 30’s, I am most definitely more a Manfred Mann fan than A Streets fan, so will leave you with this little bit of fun……

 


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Raw Emotions

I have tried to think of a witty title, something to grab your attention …. Words really are failing me on this post though, so just going with the simple choice.

I have been struggling for a while, I have been fortunate to be able to talk to close friends, able to ‘gauge’ the reaction.  There are a few more I wanted to tell, but time and my own worry has stopped me.

Keeping it simple …… Not babbling on.  So, do excuse me if this sounds unemotional.  I don’t know how else to say it.

I am loosing my hearing.

So, it is said, those 5 little words and it is out there…… I have known now for a little while, it isn’t easy and I am not writing this for sympathy.

I’m writing this because it is getting harder and harder to hide it.  Saying “Pardon” sometimes three or four times, not being able to hold a conversation easily as a passenger in friends’ cars.

Its confusing, I can still pick up a conversation across the room, yet not hear the person beside me.  And the prognosis …. It will only get worse.

I am still awaiting my hearing aid appointment from the nhs, it could take upto another THREE months for them to book me in, I have however spoken with my consultants and they are putting appointments in place for me to confirm exactly the kind of deafness I have.

All early indications push towards it being a form of Ushers Sydrome, a condition that is part of the RP spectrum; Retinitis Pigmentosa Is the family that my eye conditions stems from.  And hearing loss or ‘Deafblind’ is another strand.

Those with ushers are either born with hearing loss or sight loss and the other sensory loss occurs later.

As someone who was only categorised as ‘severely sight impaired’ 8 years ago, having been born with the condition …. I am feeling quite numb about it all at the moment.

Those close to me have noticed something is up, but I haven’t been able to tell them all in person, either because of Busy diaries or because I haven’t been able to find the words.

(which anyone who knows me, knows I am not often stuck for words!)

Just like my sight loss, I am not going to let my hearing loss take away my sense of humour or change the friend I am, it’s just not an easy time right now and it’s all a bit of a struggle.

Thank you for taking the time to read, I appreciates it.

xx


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