…… Your arms and legs are only a tool to enable you to achieve any height. (Or something similar)
This was in one of the many climbing books I have read, it is one that has (loosely) stuck with me. My CPiC often says think positively and you can achieve anything.
Well, on Tuesday I attended the 2nd round of the BMC 2017 Paraclimbing competition at The Castle Climbing Centre in London. And I am beginning to think I shouldn’t have gone.
I have lots of things going on in my personal life at this time that I am trying to work my way through, the funny weather and darker evenings are beginning to take effect too.
So to say I wasn’t on top form on Tuesday would be an understatement!
I was exhausted, I was emotionally tired before the climbing even started and it was only a very last minute decision that actually saw me attend.
Because up until 10pm Monday night I wasn’t going to go. I didn’t want to go and perform badly. But some smooth words of encouragement from my CPiC and I changed my mind, because going and performing badly would still put me above where I would be if I didn’t show up. So I was already beating my worst possible scoring just by showing up and getting my hands and feet on those first holds.
I set myself a personal challenge to get through the day.
Remembering back to last years competition at The Castle where I didn’t reach for the next hold for fear of failing, I told myself
you have to climb until you fall… Because there is a 50:50 chance you COULD make it
But if you dont reach for it, you won’t know if you could have made it.
My footwork was clunky and I was ill spending energy because of it, but I made it to the top of my first climb and a sense of pride kicked in.
I. may actually know how to do this!
But I was already physically tired and cold. Never a good mix when you have problems to solve and climbs to overcome.
I was also starting to struggle with the venue. There was an AMAZING turn out for the competition, with people coming far and wide. The Centre was only open for the competition. So everyone there was there for just one thing.
The noise was unbearable and distracting at times. There were different languages, accents and pitches of voices in addition to well deserved cheers and applauses to those climber who had pulled of a good move or topped a route.
I wanted to take my hearing aids out. But instead I took myself out.
Actually I took myself and Fizz out. Outside to stand amongst the relative quiet (by comparison) busy part of London.
Fizz got to sniff the grass and investigate the lavender bushes while I got to breathe.
Breathing; all be it a fundemental to surviving is often something I forget to do when I am concentrating on a problem or a climb.
I found myself crying as I breathed in; I found myself sitting on the sandy, stony path burying my head into Fizz’s neck as she offered me reassurance. I found myself feeling rediculous.
So I stood up, dusted myself off went back inside to finish what I started. To climb !!
Thankfullly my brief departure went unnotice (or at least unmentioned) and I was able to warm myself up with a hot drink and face the climbs ahead.
It wasn’t my best performance.
And by being the only female VI I gained a gold medal (purely by default)
But although I wasn’t at my best, I did complete all of my climbs and my boulder problems. And by the end of the day I felt much better for showing up and not going up.
The troubles I have are still there and still need to be deal with, but for this competition I did go. And for that I am thankful.