Archive for Blind Blog

Sticks & Stones may break my bones, but names will stay with me

People tell me to ignore the rude comments, the horrible comments, the meanness of others.  Most of the time I can do this, pass off their comments and words…. They are people who don’t know me, people I don’t care about and will most probably never see again.  THANKFULLY!

Every once in a while someone who I do care about, someone who I thought cared about me, says something.  A few words that have real hurt and pain behind them, words that make me question myself, question my ability to be a better person, question why I do try as hard as I do just to live the way I do.

These are people that I thought loved me, people who have seen the changes I have gone through, the struggles I have had…..

Yet they have short memories, they question me about MY DISABILITY, the genuineness of it.

People who don’t ‘Believe’ it can be that bad!  Because if it were as bad as I am telling them, then how do I manage to go to the gym? How do I manage to look after my children? How do I still read? Write? Swim? Cycle?

And how can I sit back while they struggle to earn a wage that barely covers the bills and just expect hard working tax payers to foot the bill for me ‘NOT WANTING TO DO ANYTHING’

….. ADDITION …..

I just want to stand on my chair in a crowded place and scream, ” I DO WANT TO DO THINGS, I want to be able to SEE”

I also have some ‘usable’ vision, which I use as much as I can, bu if I over do things then I pay, I struggle with bad headaches, exhaustion, yet an inability to close my eyes for sleep as they get very dry.  So I limit myself.  As I am sure I have said before, I take full advantage of technology, my phone, computer and free-view box for my tv talks to me.

I use my ‘sight’ to enjoy time with my childen, to help with homework, to cook nice meals, to shop for myself, to stay independant.  I use my time when the children are at school to volunteer, to help others, to give back for all the help and support that I have been given.

I oringinally published this post when I was in a dark place, things are still pretty grey at the moment, but re-reading it, I have realised that I do not need to justify how I spend my time, I do not need to justify why I recieve disability benefits.  I would much rather not ‘need’ this support.  Because as any person with a disability or illness that limits their capabilities will tell you, we/they would much rather be fit, healthy an have no disability…. Even if that meant working a 60 hour week.

 

 

 

 

 

An open letter to Richard Branson

OPEN LETTER

 

Sir. Richard Branson,

Founder of The Virgin Group.

I am writing this open letter to make you and everyone else aware of the service that I have received.  A service that was far beyond my own expectations and as such has enabled me to feel confident and less anxious about a journey I will soon be taking.

My name is Theresa, I have a severe sight impairment and as such travel with my partner in crime, my guide dog Vicky.  It is her (Vicky) that has enabled me to become a strong-willed, independent and adventurous young woman in the five years that she has been walking by my side.  We travel everywhere together, she is my sight, my strength and my beautiful girl.

At the beginning of November, I will be travelling to Manchester, with Vicky by my side.  I am looking forward to this exciting adventure.  It is a real break for me, I have spent my time exploring online what to do and where to go.  The hotel is booked, as is the train.

And this is the reason for my letter.

I booked my ticket online on the virgin website, I was impressed that when reserving my seat I could choose the direction I sat in, whether I sat at a table or in an airline style seat and even, probably the most important thing for a four and half hour journey, I could request to be seated with a power socket!  (the little things that make for a more enjoyable journey)

All the relevant boxes were ticked, times chosen and seats reserved.  The confirmation email came through and I was very happy.

A friend then asked in a joke “Will Vicky be able to find the correct carriage and seat?”  Good point, no she can’t!  It was something that hadn’t even crossed my mind.  Although I often book my tickets in advance, I have never reserved my seat when travelling alone.  I knew that there is assistance for disabled passengers, so back online I went.  On the virgin website was the details for passenger assist.  Which considering it was a Sunday lunchtime, I was surprised to find that the telephone number to discuss my needs was open.

I gave it a ring, and spoke with a very nice man, who talked me through the help he could offer.  I explained that I would be travelling with my guide dog, so needed no assistance around the station, but just a bit of help to find my reserved seat on the train.

It was then that he asked for my booking details, so that he could cancel my reserved seats.  I will admit for about 10 seconds (which felt much longer) I panicked.  He explained he was doing this, so that he would reserve a more appropriate seat, along with reserving a seat for my guide dog.  I told him that I couldn’t afford a seat for her, as she wold sit at my feet under my seat.

Thankfully he quickly confirmed that the seat reservation would not cost me anything, it was ‘standard proceedure’ for anyone travelling with an assistance dog, so that it would allow her  space on the floor to stretch out and enjoy her journey too.

So, the call handler changed my seats, he even explained to me where on the train I would be, where I could download a seating plan for carriages.

He explained to me where to go at the station for my assistance, he even put me on hold briefly while he confirmed this with Southampton Central Station as my train was departing at 05.48 which is before the ticket office opens.

He confirmed all the details with me verbally before sending me an email.  He spent a considerable amount of time on the phone with me, which is why I am unable to tell you his name.

The service I received from the Passenger Assist booking line and the additional thought of allocating floor space for my guide dog has gone a very long way to easing my anxiety about making such a big trip by myself.

So for this, I want to say Thank You.

Yours Sincerely

Theresa Osborne-Bell

(20th October 2014)

Its been a long time

Hello All,

It has been a while, it has been a busy time, it has been a sad time, but it has also been a happy time. It has been a time of challanges, both personal through choice and personal through others makings. This is my blog for me to write down not only the good stuff, but also the different, the difficult and the emotional.

I had shyed away from putting it all down before, but its time to use this blog for the reason it was designed. To allow me to put myself out there…. Some posts (propably most actually) will be written with humour and quirks of my days as a VIP, but some may also be a personal and emotional view into my life, afterall, life can’t always be humour and giggles.

I will publicise my funny tales through my facebook and twitter accounts, the others will be published on my blog, but left for you to find.

So keep popping back and feel free to have a good look around.

As always your comments are very welcome, feel free to be honest, this blog is all me and honest, it is my opinions. as such the opinions are true to me, this does not mean that they may be true to you and that is all good. Feel free to challange my opinions.

Your thoughts and comments will be read, considered and as long as they contain no inapporpriateness or abuse, they will be published on for all to see and add to.

Thank you for reading.

xxT

The Struggle is easing, just a wee bit

So, having bad enough eyes that glasses no longer help other than when I am doing super close up work or reading is taking a lot of getting used to.

I can now leave the house without feeling that I am naked, after all I have been wearing glasses for the last 30 years, so they are kinda a big part of me.

This year though with the fabulous bright summer days I wasn’t actually leaving the house without glasses on, because for the first time I was wearing sunglasses, really nice wrap around sunglasses by Trespass, not fancy in anyway, but very comfortable.  In fact, I have been wearing my sunglasses this week as between the rain showers the sun has been blaring through the clouds.

It is interesting to ‘see’ (excuse the pun) how people treat me differently.  I haven’t been asked if I am a guide dog trainer once!  I have been offered more assistance than ever before and God knows I have needed it!

I have felt more vulnerable than ever, not even being able to see my friend that I know who is stood directly beside me.  I haven’t coped so well with dealing with the frustration that this has caused me.

 

My shopping habits have changed, I am no longer a bargain hunter in stores, nor have I bought any new clothes, it is so hard now. Much more harder than I imagined it would be.

More than I am happy to admit right now.

 

 

One Gherkin wasn’t enough

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WE DID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Wednesday 17th September, me and Simon faced our challenge of climbing the height of The Gherkin. We set out to climb the 180m between us. We felt that this was a realistic challenge to conquer.

 

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How wrong we were……

 

The climb equalled 90m each, on a stretch of wall we both knew well. The climb was for endurance, rather than climb technique. After all, Simon faced a bigger challenge than me. He had to climb blindfolded. I have only ever climbed blind, so I didn’t have that additional element to deal with.

We got 120-odd meters into the climb when we both agreed that it wasn’t enough. We then made to interesting if not slightly bonkers decision to continue climbing, until we had both individually climber 180m.

I say bonkers decision, as we both felt the adrenaline going at that point…. The very same adrenalin that began to wear off at around 300m.  Redbull, Kendal Mint Cake and Dextrose Tablets saw us through the last 60m….. Along with a VERY large amount of finger tape !!!!!

It was an amazing adventure. One that has left a few scars and bruises, but one that has spurred us both on to do something even bigger and even better.

So, having doubled the climb height, we are still pushing forward to ask those who wish to support us to show their support. The Just Giving page is still up and active. As is the ability to send a text donation from your phone.

www.justgiving.com/gherkinblindclimb

OR

TEXT BGCC70 £10 to 70070

 

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Struggling with the change

Last month I got my routine 6 monthly eye test. My prescription has altered, which I knew before going to the opticians. I was struggling to see my phone, without holding it at the end of my nose and looking over the top of my glasses as I could no longer see close-up with them.

The change in my sight wasn’t a big change, but it was a significant one.

The way my eye condition is, with the strength of prescription that I need I can’t have near vision and long vision. I can have ‘reading glasses’ to see things that are close to me, like reading, seeing my children etc. Or I can have distance glasses and be able to watch tv or the kids playing around in the park. But I can’t see anything closer than my arm length away. If I didn’t suffer with LCA or Nystagmus I would be able to wear varifocals. But as I do, I can’t.

With my LCA I am now also unable to adjust easily to different light levels, meaning that I am also unable to adjust between two different prescription glasses, to go from distance to reading lenses.

So I had to make a choice…….

And I chose to see my children, large printed letters and the people that I love. Because on a bright sunny day, I wouldn’t see anyone even with distance lenses!

However, this time at the optician I received the news that I was very close to the limit of what they could do for me with prescription glasses. I am getting to the limit of a difference that having a prescription would make to me.

The other issue I had, is that although my eye’s have only changed ever so slightly in the last six months, it has actually been over two years of ‘ever so slight changes’ since I have been in a position to purchase a new pair of glasses, because before I have even chosen pretty frames, the lenses themselves are in the region of £280 (after allowances)

So, having the money to spend, I bought a new prescription and the frames to sit them in. Two weeks to make them, and additional £100 to reduce the thickness from 9mm to 3mm, I got my new glasses……

And all the ‘slight changes’ have added up to one hell of a dramatic change.

A change that means that on a bright sunny day, I am better protecting my remaining sight with a pair of non-prescription sunglasses than wearing my actual prescription.

My new prescription, although strong for me. Is in-fact the equivalent of a reading glass prescription in the amount of difference that it makes, especially with my distance vision.

So for the first time since I was about 4, I am getting used to not wearing glasses full time. An issue that I am struggling with just a bit.

When I am outside in the glorious sunshine that we are experiencing at the moment, I am comfortable and confident wearing my new sunglasses, but inside is a different story.

At home, right now as I write this I am wearing my glasses, when I at meetings I am wearing my glasses, but when I am in the gym or on the climbing wall, I do not wear my glasses.

And it is not a look or feel that I am getting used to…… Just Yet!

Where would a blindie be without an Iphone?

As my sight has deteriorated, the brightness, font size and contrast have all increased on my phone. Now Siri has become my best friend and now that I have turned on the voice over, my phone is even more accessible than ever.

I have also found the camera to a fabulous addition to my life. It has enabled me to take numerous pictures of my children playing, birds flying, animals on a farm and today a squirrel. I have found that so far in the summer holidays I have taken nearly 100 photos a time when we have been out and about. Not because I am boring everyone on Facebook with what I have been doing. But so that I can see what the children have been doing, for example when they are playing on the swings in the park. Or when they are feeding a goat at the farm. These are just photos for me, many of them get deleted, but it means that I can watch them later or even use the zoom feature to watch them or check on them while they are running around.

Some people curse smart phones and Iphones, but for me having all these features with me enhances my independence not only with my children, but when I am shopping. I used the camera just yesterday to take an image of a shelf price that I couldn’t read. Because with magnification and holding at the right level, I can read it.

I can’t live without mine now. It is a way of communicating with friends and family, my Sat Nav, CCTV, document reader and so much more.

Still on a high.

As you will all have realised, April has been and gone, Easter is over and we are all awaiting the rain of the school holidays!

I am now a member of Calshot climbing wall, having completed my course three months ago. With just the odd week missed I have been up a wall every week since!

And how things have changed.

I still climb with my buddy Simon, who I now belay while he climbs, but the guidance I get from him has greatly reduced, not because of a miraculous improvement in my sight or a change of colour to all the walls and holds!

But because I have found a way of my own to climb, which may not be conventional. But sod conventions…… It works for me!

I find my triangle point so that I am safe to move either an arm or a leg off of the wall and the sweep it to find the next holds. Doing this means that sometimes I miss a much easier hold, but then where would the fun be if I only held the easy holds.

I am still enjoying it as much, if not more than I did all those months ago.

I now have my own harness which is so very comfortable and I am looking to what I can achieve in the future with my climbing.

So watch this space !!!!

Not such a relaxing coffee

It has taken me some time to sit down and write this post, (nearly 5 months in fact) as it is hard for me to recall the events without sadness and upset, rather than anger and bitterness.

I am a very easy going kinda gal, I do not see myself as someone who carries a chip on my shoulder because I have an eye condition. I also feel that I am open to alternative perceptions and don’t make the automatic assumption that every person that I come into contact with is aware of sight loss or how to interact with a guide dog. After all, why would they?

I have been into places where the staff or members of the public are not aware of the regulations regarding a guide dog, I am more than happy in such situations to calmly and politely explain the law regarding working dogs.

Just because a member of staff is unaware of the regulations is not their fault, the staff in question are usually very willing to listen to my explanation and then help me with my requirements.

There have been occasions where staff are not aware of the regulations and are not prepared to listen, in these instances (thankfully few and far between) I make contact with my local guide dog office, who are more than happy to contact the staff and explain things to them.

However, the incident in question was not one of lack of awareness, it was one of personal attitude coming forward into a professional role. Something that having worked within retail for most of my career is a major ‘no no’

And for that reason, I hope that you understand why this has caused me such upset.

Having spent the morning doing some shopping in my local town, both me and the pooch were tired out and in need of refreshment. So I stopped at a coffee shop, where I could feed my caffeine addiction and allow my guide dog to rest her paws with a nice bowl of water.

Upon entering the cafe, a member of staff approached me and showed me to a table right by the door. I thought nothing of this as the interior of the cafe was quite dark in comparison to the bright sunshine of outside, so it gave me time to settle myslef and allow my eye’s to adjust to the difference in light levels.

Although a bright day, it was very chilly and on removing my coat I realised that the table was in a direct draught from the door, so having adjusted to the light levels I got up to move to a table further within the cafe, as there were several empty tables dotted around.

On moving to a different table, a member of staff came upto me and told me to stay where he had seated me and he would come to me, so I explained that I was moving out of the draught. This was when the ‘politeness’ ended.

He said that I needed to sit where he had put me because of my dog, so I calmly explained that she was a working dong and allowed. I explained that I didn’t wish to sit in the draught, so he said that I could sit at a table at the very back of the cafe. When I asked him why I couldn’t sit at the table I thought was more than suitable, as it had ample room underneath for my guide dog. The member of staff then explained that he did not want my dog to bite or upset the other customers.

Again, calmly I explained that she was a working dog and as such would sit quietly under the table away from anyone else.

That was when the member of staff told me that he was aware of the rules regarding “my dog” but if I wanted to be in the cafe then I would sit where he put me.

At this point, I was struggling to contain my upset and explained that I would not be placed where he saw fit, I explained that as a visually impaired person, my guide dog was my mobility aid and that I felt that he was discriminating against me because of her. He told me that me insisting on having my dog in the cafe was causing great upset to the other customers, who he felt would leave were I to stay and continue to cause a ‘scene’.

I informed him that because of his attitude I would not be staying in the cafe and that he had lost potential business. I bit back the tears as I spoke. As I felt humiliated and forced to leave through no fault of my own.

At this point a man who had witnessed the events stood up and offered to take me to the near by Costa, as he and his family were disgusted by the way in which I had been treated and would no longer stay in the cafe.

I had heard several other murmurs as I was leaving. I did not take the man and his family up on their offer, I just wanted to get away. So I walked for a little while before contacting my local guide dog team and explaining the situation to them.

The member of staff I spoke with in the office was very kind and understood my upset and was able to understand what I was saying despite my sobs on the telephone. She assured me that she would pass the matter on to the public relations officer and that she would be in contact with me.

My local guide dog team were fabulous and got in contact with the cafe in question straight away, but not before they had received two further phone calls by concerned members of the public that had witnessed my ordeal.

After writing a very strong worded letter, the guide dog team received no reply or comment from the cafe.

It was over a month later when two friends, along with their guide dogs went into the cafe for a spot of lunch, that they were privy to wonderful service and staff that were more than helpful to each of their needs.

So, I took it that the cafe or in particular the member of staff that I had encountered had learnt from the letter they had received. That I bit the bullet and went back in, this time I couldn’t face going alone, so took a friend and my son.

The service was fabulous, but I could not relax, I found myself listening to each of the staff members to hear if I could recognise the member of staff that I had previously had the misfortune of speaking with.

I was not relaxed, nor did I feel that I was being fair on my son or friend as I was ‘on edge’ so we drank our drinks and left.

I do not feel that I will be able to return to the cafe in question again.

The silly little things

We are having some beautiful sunny hot weather here on the south coast at the moment. So having taken my beautiful black long haired guide dog out for a good walk earlier this morning before the heat picked up, I needed to pop into town.

So out came the good olde faithful cane….. And off I went.

I have to alter how I use my cane in some shops in town, with their lovely smooth floors no-one can hear me if I use the roller tip and glide it along. So I need to go back to the basic ‘tap tap’ figure of eight so I can be heard and noticed.

Having done my shopping in the store with the big W on the front! I was walking to the exit when a kind gentleman asked if I needed assistance locating the lift, as the store is set into a hill at the back.

I thanked him for his offer, but asked if he could he so kind as to navigate me towards the escalator instead.

He sounded surprise at my request! And was concerned for my safety, so offered to come down with me. I did explain this was not necessary, but he insisted.

So down the escalator we went together (it’s on about half a flight of stairs long)

When we reached the bottom I thanked him, he then went to go back up the escalator to continue his shopping (as I hadn’t realised he wasn’t actually leaving!) So I politely and quietly followed him back up to the store.

When at the top, he asked if I was ok? So I explained that I was perfectly fine.

I went on to explain that as a guide dog user, I was unable to use escalators when working with her, so in a ‘kid in a sweet shop’ kind of excitement I was making the most of the experience !!

It sent him away with a smile on his face and me with a lovely piece of advice from him,

“Take time to do the ‘silly little things’ in life, because they often sculpt you into the sensible person you become”

So yes, I was the grown woman who rose the escalators today. But it is a little thing that I miss, that many take for granted. So I made the most of it and enjoyed myself.

I can’t see if people where looking at me, and as such I no longer worry about what they are thinking !!

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