Archive for June 29, 2017
Last year I was very lucky to be able to attend several gigs, and pretty gigs at that; with Adele, Muse, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and even Placebo. All of these took place in London, a capital known for its security and safety record.
Several weeks ago, a terrorist targeted a Manchester gig. Men, women and even children were caught up in this horrid act that resulted in 22 deaths and many many more suffering.
I am not here to talk about the attack, nor the group behind it, this is not a political post…… I am going to talk about the fear that this has left me with.
I am in fear of this happening at a gig I go to.
I am in fear of putting my friends in danger, because of the additional support they afford me.
I am in fear or letting this fear stop me.
Followng on from the Manchester attack, London saw a savage attack just last weekend. Where a van, usually placed on any street in the country was used to mount the curb and drive into Londoners who had been out enjoying a Saturday evening.
My next gig is in London in just a few weeks. It’s on a Saturday. It’s also at venue I have never been before. By the nature of a gig, one especially that is SOLD OUT. There will be an increase security presents to enable ease of movement for gig goers arriving and leaving, especially with additional support in the nearby tube and railway stations. I am also aware that many concrete barriers have been erected around London at key locations, such as The Bridges that cross The Thames to make it more difficult for a vehicle to be used as a terror weapon.
In wake of the terror attacks, plenty of advice has been given on RUN. HIDE. TELL. This is the bit I fear. What saved many people in both of these attacks was the ability for them to see the danger, see an escape route and to see those who needed help.
So, how do I cope in such a situation without the ability to see?
I can run, and especially if it were needed I would do this, but which way do I run? The fear in all of this isn’t for me. The fear in all of this is for my guiding girl Fizz and my friends.
I know that they would never leave me, but what if by helping me they are put into the way of danger?
What if me being with a guide dog appears as an easy target?
All these questions and fears are building up.
I don’t think I would ever have the answers, but in writing my blog I hope to ease my own fears and ease the fears of those around me.
Not even a trained firearms officer can say how they will cope or how they would deal with being involved in such an attack. As no amount of training can say how you would deal with human nature and the flight or flee reaction.
My friends will walk with me and support me in the same way that they have in the past. My vulnerability will also stand out to our police men and women and other security forces.
Some of my fellow friends with both hearing and visual impairments have said that they have felt additional support has been afforded to them especially in London since the weekend.
I am not going to make this blog about the terrorist that committed these crimes. Because after all the whole reasoning for many acts of terrorism is to divide and terrorise people. And iconically both Manchester and London have actually ‘come together’ supported each other and shown just how great they are as a whole at supporting those who need the support.
So, I have told you my fears, I have explained them, I am not able to completely dismiss them, but I am able to understand them. I am able to know that they will not stop me from going to London, or any other city for that matter.
I may just make sure more so than usual that my phone is charged and my additional battery pack is also charged.
As a parent myself, I thought hard about the names I gave my children, their father had his opinions. We went through baby books, baby names and even google to help us choose.
My parents, named me Theresa-Claire, as the second born I was afforded a middle name where my sister Samantha wasn’t. I was also afforded the same initials as my father; Trevor Clive. Was it hoped that I would be TC Jr?
I am not in a position to ask these questions. I am however able to tell you how, for as long as I can remember I was called many alternatives to my actual name.
These included ‘Top Cat’ – ‘TC’ – ‘Tessa’ – ‘Tuppence’ and for the majority of my adult life ‘Tee’
When I married I took my husbands surname, when we separated and then divorced to revert to my maiden name would have cost me the fee of a deed poll. So, with my new partner I chose to double barrel his surname on the end of mine.
I had never liked my married name, I never made any secret of this. Despite my daughter having my ex-husbands name, I couldn’t and didn’t want to keep it and as we were married when she was born, Osborne never formed part of her name as it has my sons.
Families have their differences, arguments and even irreversible consequences. But I am not prepared to denounce any of my ‘chosen’ name.
But I have found a new ‘nickname’ off the back of it.
Dropping Osborne-Bell to O-Bell. And altering Tee to Tink. And now I am my very own magical, mythical pixie Tink-O-Bell.
Known often just as Tink !
In this past year I have been improving myself, admittedly half-heartedly with the support of my coach and cousin Charlie. I have been working on creating the best version of me. Loosing weight, improving my nutrition and sports performance through the use of Herbalife Shakes, supplements and products.
And this is where my name is key; for my favourite example of Tinkerbell isn’t in PeterPan, it is in Moulin Rouge (played by the singer Kylie) where she is the little green absinthe fairy. Full of fun.
I am now looking to take my involvement with Herbalife further, I am now looking to use my own product result and increased energy with Herbalife to the next step.
….. That’s a whole other chapter that is only just beginning !!
But either way, it is with this involvement of the colour green that I am going to truly become my own version of Tink-O-Bell !!