Tag Archive for independence

13 Mar 2014
Blind Blog

Blind Fail !!

Tonight while walking home from a meeting I had one of my ‘blind fails’, this one is also a bit of a blonde moment too.

I love walking, day or evening, rain or shine. Admittedly I prefer walking in nicer weather! I am happy walking in my local area, as I know the area well and with my guide dog by my side I feel safer as a single girl walking than if I were fully alone.

I am very aware of my surroundings, both from a VI point of view and a street sense way.

So tonight while walking home I thought I was being followed. I could hear someone very close to me, when I slowed down, so did they. When I sped up, they too sped up. When I stopped completely, they too stopped completely. I crossed the road three times and so did they!

Yet every time I looked around, I couldn’t see anyone.

It was at that point that I walking into a shop, with it’s good lighting and staff members I was beginning to feel safer and relaxed, when I realised that the person following me was still with me.

How though?

And that was when I found out the truth.

I wasn’t being followed at all…. I was in fact spooking myself with my own bag!

Several weeks ago I bought a new backpack from ‘Kipling’ a beautiful pink backpack, with it’s own little monkey keychain. That I discovered tonight swings when I walk!

Despite having the bag for several weeks, tonight is the first time I have not had my bag full.

So for the first time since buying my bag, I could actually hear the cheeky little monkey hitting my bag !!

So, as the title suggests…. A blind fail !!

Or should that read …. A blonde fail ??

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19 Feb 2014
Blind Blog

The pooch surprises me again.

My guide dog has given me so much independence and confidence to do things in the 4 1/2 yeas we have been working together, she has also listened to all my woes and never told a soul.

She is now in a stage in her working glide where she is slowing down and her ‘stubborn retriever’ personality is overpowering her guide dog training.  But she is still working, I have had to allow myself time to adjust to this slower pace, but a slower guide dog is still a much better option than a long cane.  Definitely for me, although I am aware that isn’t the case for everyone.

When she was trained, Vicky also recovered additional ‘target training’ from her handler.  This means I can say key words and she will find these for me, for me, this is key when out and about, she is trained for crossing buttons, bins, postboxes, doors, counters and lifts.  Since being with me, she has picked up a few extras from the ‘usual’ places we go to.  She can now find cash points, she can also find a costa coffee house, even in towns we have never visited before.

But tonight she surprised me totally with her target.  Arriving in town we popped to the cashpoint, then leaving there I said “let’s go to the pub then” to which her posture stiffened and she was off, passed the ‘local’ pub that we were stood near into the nicer pub, which was the one we haven’t been in for months and months.  But she knew!

The costa coffee I could put down to being a ‘far too regular a route’ but the pub?  She didn’t just go to the one we were stood by.

Tonight, after what has been a challenging time with her has just affirmed how much more than a mobility aid she is.  She has a memory, she can think on her paws and she does so much more for me than get me from A to B.  She keeps me independant.

Oh and tonight she got me a free drink from a stranger while I waited for my friend!!! BONUS

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07 Feb 2014
Blind Blog

Technology Sees’ Everything

I would say that I am a tech reliant vip. The reason for this is because I don’t go anywhere without my iPhone, iPad and headphones. No I am not an apple geek, but I am reliant on google maps, street view and up to the minute travel planning such as ‘Travel line’, ‘National Rail’ and even local weather, all of which have fabulous little app’s.

When travelling somewhere new, I am meticulous at planning my route, my first port of call is The Travel Line, where all I need to do is put in a start and end point. I can even put the time I either want to leave, or arrive by. It will then come up with a list of travel options for me that include walking, buses, ferries, coaches and trains. This is where I can ‘tweak’ it to my preferences, for example, I can put the maximum time I am happy to walk between other transport. I can even view the route on a map, which is animated to show me through the whole trip, with icons for walking, buses, ferries and trains. Which I can zoom in on the work out.

If I am travelling by train, I can then check up on all the information that I need via the National Rail app. The reason I check this too, is because it will break the information down even further. It will list each of the stops that the train will make, it will also tell me which platform the train departs from and arrives on…. This is particularly handy if I need to change trains at a station, as I can navigate much more by myself without additional assistance. (although if I need it, I will ask for help from the station staff)

I will plan my route from home and then take ‘screen shots’ of the information or even save the travel details to my calendar, just incase I have no internet access via wifi or 3g on my travels.

When planning my route, lines on a map do nothing for me. So I am an avid fan of googles ‘street view’ this enables me to visualise the route from a bus stop, along a walk or even find short cuts, that the route planners may not show.

This is of course only as good as the information that has been recorded, for example if I street view my own house, I see the driveway in its old position, not it’s actually how it is now.

But as the map navigation is continually updated, I (as yet) haven’t become completely stuck because of it.

An example of this was earlier this week, when I had to visit the Southampton offices for Guide Dogs. An office that is a ‘tad’ out of the way for guide dog owners.

So I planned my route at home, based on the time that I needed to arrive, then to allow for delays, followed the details for the slightly earlier journey.

Which in this instant was needed.

Having navigated to the train station and from there to the bus stop needed in southampton, I even asked for assistant from the people at the stop with me, to help with the bus I needed. As a major calling point all of the other buses that came to the stop all pulled in. My bus didn’t and the person who said they would help me, did help, but only to tell me that the bus had driven straight past!

So, out came my phone to check the time of the next bus from the stop I was at…. And it wouldn’t be for another hour. So the Costa next to the stop enabled me to piggyback on wifi (as it is faster than 3g, which I would have used if no wifi was available)

Thankfully, there was another bus that would take me to Chilworth where the office is situated. It was however, 15 minutes walk from where I was, in an area of Southampton that I wasn’t familiar with. So, out came the headphones and on when google maps.

I was able to navigate and instruct Vicky my guide dog without having to look at my phone at all.

I have ‘over ear’ headphones so that I can comfortably listen to information that I need, and have one ear free to hear my surroundings. Plus I have never been a fan of in-ear as I find them too good at noise cancelling and also, quite uncomfortable as my ears are quite sensitive.

So, with my bit of tech I was able to find my way to the other bus. Once getting on, having double checked the number and that it stopped where I wanted imagine my surprise and relief when the driver said ” my bus has audio, so you will know when we are approaching your stop.”

There is an Eclipse route between Fareham and Gosport that has audio on it, just like you get only trains! But I wasn’t aware of other services or even other bus companies were using it.

So instead of having to rely on my iPhone and it’s apps, I would just sit back, relax and listen for my destination.

Audio announcements on buses is a major plus for many people, not just us VIPs, it works for people who are unfamiliar to the area or those travelling in the dark. Because, unlike trains you can’t count the stops on a bus as the bus does t always stop!!

So, with the help of all this tech I am able to gain even greater independence, without having to fully rely on others, I can also use public transport instead of more expensive taxis thanks to free apps that are available for smartphone and iPhone users alike.

 

 

 

 

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14 Jan 2014
Blind Blog

Inquizative Cubs

Having a friend that is a cub leader I was invited by him to speak to his cub group about my sight, having a guide dog and help them to understand that people have differences in how they communicate and see the world.

I have done talks before about having and using a guide dog, I have even visited my daughters school to explain about Vicky and as the age of the children increased, the questions moved away from guide dogs and included things like “how do you see your mouth to put food in it?” “How do you see your bottom to wipe it when you’ve been to the loo?” (Which horrified the teacher. Thankfully not me.

So, I started my talk explaining about Vicky, what she did for me, how to react when you see someone with a guide dog, the usual awareness type talk. I then went on to explain about ‘being blind’ and what I couldn’t see rather than what I can’t, after all as I always explain about my sight, I don’t know what I can’t see.

With the help of an app on my iPad that shoes an example of what it is to see with particular eye conditions I was able to show them what a picture looks like for me.

image

They say apicturespeaks a thousand words. Would you agree?

VisionSim of Family Plaque Family plaque by Charming Little Home

Above on the left is how I see (without the blackness or red ring) on the right is the actual photograph. With the cubs I did this by taking an image of their cub leader, they were all amazed by it.

The cubs were fantastic, they asked lots of questions including how my guide dog guides me, so by splitting the group up to make a corridor, leaving one child sitting in the middle of it, I showed them.

Vicky walked me along and when she came to the obstacle (the child) she stopped and stood, she ignored the child. I gave her the command to walk on, but as there was no space for us to do that she sat down. I asked her to find the way and she turned me around and walked around the children instead.

I went on to talk about Braille and allowed the children to see an example of this. Again this bought up many questions.

My talk lasted over 40 minutes, but the cubs sat happily listening and asking questions. Speaking with the leader afterwards he told me that he had never seen them so enthusiastic about listening and learning before.

I got a lot out of my talk with the cubs, I just hope that they did to.

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01 Jan 2014
Blind Blog

So, how do the blind date?

I wrote a blog last year about good friend who was joking with me about dating, how it really would be a blind date in my case!

But as new year roles in and friends were kissing their partners, I got to thinking ….. How do the blind date ?

There is the world of Internet dating, you can meet hundreds of people just like you (so the adverts say)

There are even dating websites for ‘those with disabilities’ and there is the tv series on Channel 4 that highlight the whole thing with the documentary ‘The Undateables’

I’m not the sort of person who has ever gone out looking for love, it’s just always …happened!  I’m not looking for it now either, I am happy as me, but I do miss being with someone when with other friends.  As I am beginning to feel like a spare wheel, especially during the festivities.

So, how do I go about dating?

I suppose sitting in a pub with a guide dog is good ice-breaker!  But my days of catching the cute guys eye are long gone….. I do t think I could even spot the cute guy, let alone catch his eye!

A friend offered to set me up with a friend, is that how it’s done?

I sound so naive, but my last partner was the best man at my wedding (it sounds like we ran away together when I put it like that-but that’s another story)  I knew him for a while, we were good friends.  I have always had more male friends, but there aren’t any of them that I would consider dating now, I know them all TOO WELL.

So, how do I date?

I have looked at the dating sites for the disabled, it’s not that I don’t want to date someone with a disability, but just as I don’t have a preference on hair colour or even skin colour I don’t feel that because I have my own disability that I should be defined by it.

So, I ask again, how do the blind date?

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18 Dec 2013
About Me • Blind Blog

See My Way

As I have always had my eye condition, I struggle to explain it to others as I am not aware of what it is like to see with good vision. I can explain how it has changed and talk of what I can see now, in comparison to what I could see several months or even years ago. So I thought people might like to see what I see, this is not easy to do and with the simple computer software that I have, it isn’t a true representation. But I thought you might like to take a look.

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I wanted to show you, what I DON’T SEE….

I can’t see as far as this, or with as much peripheral. What I can see isn’t as clear either unless it is something at the end of my nose.

The left shows the tweaked view, with the original filming on the right. This was recorded during a walk one morning to the train station on my iPhone to give people an idea.

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11 Dec 2013
Blind Blog

The pain of my cane

A few weeks ago my faithful Guide Dog had to temporarily hang up her harness to have a lump removed (just a ‘older age’ cyst, very routine) With her doing this, I had to dust of my long cane. I have kept up my cane skills and on occasions have used it when it has not been practical to use Vicky. However, it has been a long time since I have used it on this scale….. Even when I trained with it, my independence wasn’t what it is now, so team this a decrease in my usable sight and it has been a hard 10 days.

I managed the first few days of her being off work with doing very minimal trips out, mostly because she was very groggy from the operation, so I daren’t leave her too long at home. I then managed to time things in with when I was seeing friends who could come with me.

But there is only so many times I could do this, not to mention, wanted to do this! I was struggling with the dependancy I had on others.

So off I went alone, with only a few of the normal ‘cane jabs’ recieved from uneven paths, or missing a curb edge. These are part of ‘the norm’ any long cane user will tell you about.

On Friday, one week after her op, Vicky was delivered to a boarders, where she got to enjoy some doggy company and rest, while I went up to London to see my eye specialist and professor for a dna trial I am part of.

A trip I dislike at the best of times, but without my faithful friend I felt lost. I had a friend with me, but the concentration needed in London increases ten-fold even with a guide dog, with the cane it was horrendous. Even before I had my eyes dilated and could see even less.

Thankfully my friend drove to help ease my stress. But the concentration needed even for the much shorter walk from the car to the hospital was too much. (Thats another post though.)

By the time we left the hospital four hours later my eyes were heavily dilated and what little I usually see was much smaller and incredibly painful. At this point the cane was used purely to role infront of me and I linked in to my friend for support.

Saturday morning I headed off to collect my son from his friends house where he had been enjoying a sleep over. Hearing the bus coming up the road, I started to run, resulting in me going over the top of my cane having caught it on a drain, flying forward through the air and landing on the palms of my hands and my knee.

Ouch…… it stung, but the embarrassment was much worse, especially as it was actually the bus driver who had seen my fall and got off his bus to help me up and check me over if needed.

 

Thankfully, grazes, bruises and a damaged pride were all I suffered. I couldn’t stop, the day was getting away with me and I still had to pick up Vicky after Lawrence, so there was no time to hang about, go home or even feel sorry for myself.

It was just one of those ‘blind fails’ as I call them.

 

So on I went, enjoyed the rest of the day and soaked my wounds in a warm bath later.

Having used a long cane for some time, I am used to the odd bump. Either from me bumping into something, or a poorly laid pavement causing my cane to ‘stab’ me.

But I could not cope without it when my guide dog isn’t available. Because without either cane of dog, I could not cope on my own in the great outdoors.

I was not prepared for the bump I had on Monday on my way to college though…………

I had negotiated my local station, no problems. With the odd ankle sweep for people who thought they could nip in in front of me to cut me up. (One of the enjoyable sides of using a long cane over a guide dog!!!)

Generally as usual, people were very helpful. I was asked upon reaching the station I required, if I needed any assistance, to which I politely thanked them and said (knowing the station well) that I would be fine and headed for the stairs.

Up the stairs, across the bridge no problem, almost down the stairs on the other side when it happened.

When walking up stairs, I hold my cane upright in front of me, in the middle of my body, so that I can use it to judge the depth and height of the treat on the stair and also to be able to feel when I have reached the top step.

On the way down though, this is different. On walking down steps, having swept the ground on the initial step to find the first step down, I then hold my cane like a pencil, so that it crosses my body on a diagonal, so that the ball tip can run along each of the steps again so I can feel the depth and also feel when I reach the final step.

My cane is no more than my shoulder width while doing this, so that it is not sticking out, but enough to enable me to feel if an obstacle is in my way.

So, almost at the bottom of the staircase, I had already negotiated the 180 degree return half way down, the commuters with suitcases and bikes rushing up the stairs to get to their platforms.

When I felt someone rush past me very closely also coming down the stairs. Someone who caught the ball of my cane with their foot, causing it to move out from where it was rolling along the step edge. In the split second it took for me to recover it back to the step I had missed the bottom two steps and landed on right knee with my right hand again taking the brunt of the floor.

 

A kind women helped me up, while another bought a guard over. They were concerned and checked my hands for cuts and any sign of breaks.

I felt (yet again) very embarrassed by falling and was doing all I could not to cry or get upset in front of these strangers.

When the guard arrived, I shoe’d the helpers away. I was stood up again and just wanted to get to college and away from people.

The guard asked me how I was and what had happened, I explained that it was ‘just one of those things’ and that I was more embarrassed than anything. To which he suggested that next time I use the lift, or had assistance in the station, “after all, you are disabled and shouldn’t do these things alone.”

I think this upset me more than pain in my hands. I did all I could do, which was to thank him for his help and left the station.

 

I made it across the road before bursting into tears, I had to hear a friendly voice, so using Siri on my phone (as I always do) I called a friend….. It took a few attempts as Siri had trouble understanding a blubbering me!

My friend was fab, calmed me right down and checked that I really was ok. Even making me laugh at a silly joke.

 

By the time I got to college I was composed and ready to face the day.

I daren’t share what happened with any of my college group for fear it would set me off again.

Having managed to escape any further bruising to my knee, but having my right palm take the full brunt of it, I am now wearing a padded support on my hand and wrist to help relieve the pain that I am in and also to cushion my wrist and palm, so that I can still use my long cane and try and not put myself into a forced hibernation until my trusted guide dog is ready to return to work.

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08 Dec 2013
About Me • Blind Blog

It’s official, I am annoying !!

Last week saw me attend my 9 monthly checkup at Moorfields eye hospital.

My condition LCA is grouped in with RP, retinitis pigmentosa, as it includes many of the se characteristics like night blindness, loss of peripheral vision. With LCA – Labers Congenital Amarosa, I also suffer with myopia (severe short-sightedness) and nystagmus (involuntary eye movement that is continual)

I am now down to finger counting in both eyes, when I used to get the top line of the eye chart stood at half the distance in my rift eye.

Given that six years ago I was between the second and third line on the eye chart (depending on the letters)

I have an incredibly strong prescription lenses, which is what gives me the sight I explained above. Without any glasses it is purely light and colour I can see without holding something above the top of my nose!

Please don’t be reading this and feel sorry for me, my sight is what it is, yes it may be worse than most, but it is much better than some.

So, up at Moorfields for my nine monthly check, I have noticed many little issues in the past few months and with the puppy being off work, I was even more aware of differences from the last time I had used my cane like this.

The long and the short of it, after four hours seeing a consultant, an eye scanning team, a retinal photographer, a registra and then my Proffessor, I have an increase in my cataracts (but not enough that they would risk laser surgery with my nystagmus) I have more noticable ‘floaters’ parts of my retina that is moving around in the eye jelly, a deteriation of my peripheral.

I can no longer do the peripheral eye test where you stick your head in a white bowl like test machine, stare at the red dot in the middle and press the button when you see a green dot.

Now they use the images they get from the scans and photo’s to tell me about my percentages. I have a difference of 21% from eighteen months ago, which sounds significant, but when I have less than 10% periferal it is even more…. I am not a mathamatitain, but even I can work out that that is a lot.

The cataracts are causing everything to feel as if it is either darker than it used to be or is unbearably bright when I have been in a darker environment.

So, the main reason I go to Moorfields is because I am part of DNA study to help with genetics for RP and LCA. So far they have found and researched 14 different genes…… And then there is me!

I told the registra that I liked to be different, he said I wasn’t different I was annoying. He actually called me annoying.

But then the Prof came in to see me, telling me of another study that I could be part of, very simple blood sample is all they need. He reminded me that my condition was definately not ticking any of the right boxes at the moment and making his and the research teams work ever harder. But that at the same time, he still found my scans and photographs magical.

So, I am offically annoying.

And that is exactly what is now written in my hospital notes too !!!

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04 Nov 2013
About Me • Blind Blog

Learning to forget to look…., Not ready for that yet!

Although I am registered as ‘blind’ I do have some sight, all be it distance vision that doesn’t even get me the top line on the eye chart and central vision with a peripheral of less than 10%, a figure that has recently reduced by 17%…. Feel free to do the math on that! To me it means just one thing

“my remaining sight is deteriating and quicker that I really would like”

Making the most of my remaining sight is key, and by actually using my eyes I am causing no harm, nor am I strengthening them. The deterioration of my retina is uncontrolled and unmapped.

So, by now you may feel confused by the title of this latest blog, well let me explain. As my sight has deteriorated, my eye’s and the period for which I can use them to concentrate on anything has reduced dramatically. In theory anyway, I say this, because I can still spend hours watching a really good film, of which without the aid of audio descript I miss a large percentage of it.

But for this I suffer.

As my eyes tire from the concentration, they in fact become dry, and difficult to close without seeing vivid flashing images on my eyelids.

As I said above, having missed a large percentage of a film, I now rely fully on Audio Descript and do not strain or even try to see what is actually happening on the screen. This has given me back my love of the cinema in recent months, so that is a bonus!

But there is one part of my life that I can’t stop over concentrating on and overworking my eyes, that is my phone, my laptop and my iPad. All of which have fabulous built in accessible software, after all Steve Jobs insisted that technology was assessable to all, not as an after thought, but as part of its design, hence why all my tech is Apple…. That and the fact that originally my training before my sight loss was in Design and if it was design, it HAD TO BE Apple.

Anywho, I digress. I have dragon and Siri that enable me to speak to my tech for it to then type my words. I have magnification, I even have voice over. And yes for you techno-phobes, it even works on touch screen. Even more so since the IOS 7 update!

But the thing is….

I have SOME vision and I can’t help but use it.

I can touch type and thankfully have been able to do this from a very young age (I think I was about 8) so I don’t have to look at the keyboard or technically the screen either, but I do like to proof read what I have written, especially when it comes to emails, letters and more recently college assignments.

It is a college assignment that has in fact lead me to write about this. You see, it is currently 4.15am on a Monday morning, having been working on my latest assignment that is due in at 9am THIS MORNING. I am now not able to sleep, even though it would be a really good idea if I could as I have a 4 hour lecture and a gym class later today too!

The question you are probably asking right now as you read that last paragraph, is what the….? Yes, I did leave this assignment a little later than others, but actually that isn’t the reason why I am up so late with it.

The REAL reason I was working on it so late, was because of my wish to see what I am doing and the light levels. You see even with the daylight lamp on, if it is too dark in the rest of the room, I struggle greatly to focus on all of my work, as the light level varies from that under the lamp to the rest of the room.

With the darker evenings (which in fact cause the darker days) I am able to sit down with a suitable light that illuminates the whole room at about 6pm.

This is slap bang in the middle of feeding time at my zoo, then comes baths, books and cuddles before bed for my 2 little monsters. So that 6pm soon becomes 8pm and I’m sure you can see where I am going from here?

I have tried and tested myself with this, so that I can understand what I can do without suffering and what I can’t achieve without the suffering.

The short answer is not much.

Once I hit 2.5 – 3 hours thats it, I can look at spending at least that again letting my eyes settle down. The good news is that if I extend that to 5 hours, that doesn’t increase the ‘down time’ that I need.

So, to save my sanity, especially in the winter months I need to start to stop looking.

But its hard, emotionally more than anything….. The reason is because, one day I wont ACTUALLY be able to see it, so while I can why shouldn’t I?

If your sight were or if your sight is deteriating would you want to stop seeing all the things you can see now knowing that in the future you will have no choice but not to see them?

This is a tricky argument that I have had with a few people, you see the one point I struggle with is that apart from the lack of sleep, I am not causing myself any harm, I am certainly not causing my eye’s damage.

This I have checked, double checked and yes, you got it TRIPLE CHECKED!!

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03 Nov 2013
Blind Blog • Days Out

Blind Dating

I have explained before that I have a wicked sense of humour….. This blog post shows this off perfectly.

Sitting yesterday with a friend having a much needed catch-up over a leisurely Sunday brunch at a popular Italian American restaurant, the following occurred.

As usual, my trusted guide dog was laid on my feet under the table waiting for any food to drop. Me and my friend had been talking about how life had been for me since seperating from my long term partner earlier in the year. She knew that I had struggled with others opinions about being a single parent, she also knew that I had taken the decision to end the relationship and that it had been a happy decision for me.

This led us to talking about dating and how after having been in a relationship for so long you would even start going about this. At this point, a couple were seated in the booth behind us. I remember this point as the woman in the couple was sneezing continually, so I passed a packet of ultra-balm pocket tissues behind me to her partner.

Me and my friend continued talking about dating, she commented on how I could try internet dating or speed dating. This tickled me, so I made a joke of how she was fundamentally suggesting that I went on a ‘blind date’ as I went on to say, my days of catching someones eye across a crowded pub were behind me, I would be lucky to even catch the eye of someone stood right beside me. The irony of ‘blind dating’ continued and she by this point was looking on her phone and discovered that there were dating sites just for disabled people. I made a joke of how a guide dog had a great pulling power, but how to train them to seak out single guys for blind people would take real indepth training…..

 

At this point I was aware of uncomfortable mummbles from the couple in the booth behind us. Me and my friend continued to speak about how a blind person would go about dating, when the ‘gentleman’ in the booth behind me turned around and commented, (these words have stayed with me….

“You really are being quite rude and insensitive, talking about poor blind people who can’t possible have as enjoyable and free life as you ((me))”

To which I was shocked, so I said all I could which was, “I beg your pardon?”

“Well, you two are sat her enjoying a nice leisurely breakfast, probably off to do some shopping laughing about those less fortunate than you who have a horrible disability and can’t even think of coming out for treats like this. Whilst you both sit here poking fun at them for not being able to date, you both have such freedom, people like you make me sick.”

At this point my blood was boiling and I’m sure my friend could sense this too, as she reached across the table and asked me if I wanted to leave, which no I did not.

I was not going to be accused of being insensitive, rude and worst of all being called a ‘poor blind person’.

 

I kept my cool (dog knows how!) and out came the sarcasm……

 

“I’m sorry sir if my ‘private’ conversation with my friend has upset and sickened you, I am so very sorry that you feel that ‘poor blind people’ don’t have such freedoms as to go out for a long breakfast or enjoy shopping. I am so very sorry that you feel that I was insulting those with horrible disabilities. I was in fact talking about myself and how ‘ironic’ it was to use the word ‘blind date’ you see because for me now that is what it would be, I am sorry for that.”

At this point he stood up and called over the waitress, he said “I can’t believe the nerve of you ((me)) now pretending to be blind, while you clearly aren’t to justify and make excuses for your terrible behaviour, I wish to be moved. (Directed at the waitress)”

I was close to tears at the point and the waitress was about to speak, the very same waitress that had seated me and my friend and made a fuss of Vicky before she had curled up under the table.

I myself now stood up and turned to the gentleman, a term I use very loosely as he was about the same age as me, and definite not gentle!

“It’s ok, no need for you to move, we were just finishing up and off to enjoy some carefree shopping, I will even go to the till to settle up my bill as to not upset you a moment further, if you would just be so kind as to give me a minute to get my guide dog in her harness?”

He sniggered at this, but he soon stopped when I woke up a sleeping Vicky and got her out from under the table….

In fact his face was so red with embarrassment, even I could see it!

 

I finished putting her harness on and walked toward the till. My friend was talking behind me to the man and his girlfriend, but At this point I just wanted to leave.

She came and joined me a moment later to tell me that on the girlfriends insistence her boyfriend would be paying our bill for us, he hadn’t spoken another word apparently, just stood there shocked and embarrassed.

My friend said that she had explained that I was clearly upset by his insults and assumptions of ‘poor blind people’ and that it was incredibly rude to earwig on others conversations.

His girlfriend was very apologetic, but still he said nothing.

As we left the restaurant, my friend said she could see through the window that his girlfriend was clearly shouting at him.

To be honest I didn’t care…. I was using every muscle in my body to stop me from breaking down in tears, I was so shaken by it that we didn’t go shopping, without a word spoken, we got in her car and we went straight to the nearest pub for a large whiskey (for me anyway)

We had been having such an enjoyable time and only a true friend would laugh with me while we spoke of blind dates and meeting someone new. She knew instantly that I had been upset by those cruel words, but that I wouldn’t scream and shout, but calmly and with sarcasm allow that horrid man to be left thinking about what he had said and done.

I am not a ‘poor blind person’ with a ‘horrible disability’, I am me Tee, with a visual impairment…. I have plenty of freedom to go shopping and enjoy long breakfasts with friends, I am also privileged to have such wonderful friends that won’t talk over me, but know me well enough to know that I am fully capable of speaking my own mind. Also just like on that day, also know when I need a stiff drink and a huge hug.

 

And to answer the question you may be thinking by now…. No, I haven’t and nor will I be signing up to an iNternet dating of any kind !!!

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