Tag Archive for independence

Jumping without a parachute …

Who needs a comfort zone anyway?  Last weekend I not only stepped out of mine, I jumped out of it without my parachute !!

Not even those closest to me may have even realised the inner turmoil I was battling with …… Fizz knew, she kept me calm, she kept me from falling apart and she kept me safe every time I needed her to put on her harness and be my eyes.

Any event/conference/summer spectacular is daunting for many!

A room with 2,000 other people is also terrifying in itself!

Then add to the mix you can only see shapes and colours; the lighting is set up as corporate and moves with the music; the music that is loud, pumped out around the room to ‘raise the roof’ to ‘motivate’ and to ‘excite’ EVERYONE in the room.

Having recently decided to stop ‘messing around with diets and fads’ and actual take control of my eating, my inner nutrients and my health, I looked to my cousin for support.  She introduced me to Herbalife, a safe, clean, nutrition fuelled way of eating, not a ‘diet product’ rather a way to live, a way to improve myself from the inside out, while being able to support me through training, rock climbing, bringing up my children and running around with each of my volunteer roles.

… Fast forward a few months and here I was, sat in Manchester, watching, learning and feeling empowered by The Herbalife Summer Spectacular.

The chosen venue was literally a large box!  A MASSIVE exhibition space that was broken up and segmented by heavy curtains, false walls and carpeting.

Having previously been to Manchester a few years ago, this didn’t concern me.  With the new Google Street View App on my phone I was able to walk around the outside of EventCity, I was able to find Starbucks, plan how to get from the hotel in MediaCity, again having visited the area before, I felt OK here.

I had a room-mate for the weekend, she absolutely adored Fizz and was wonderful, even volunteering to take her out for walks having never met either of us before.

…. Back to the venue…. I was invited to sit at the front of the room, an area reserved for those prestige members, an adjustment made just for me if it would help me see the event clearer.  Sadly no where I sat would have done that, so I stayed sat with my cousin and her friends.  Fizz was fabulous, she was so calm and took all the noises and light changes in her stride, not letting it bother her at all.

In the evening, we returned to EventCity for a dinner and awards ceremony.  I though I would be OK, I though that I now knew the venue and would be OK.  I had realised in the 2 hours that we had left the venue for, that the room had changed, the big round tables were still in place, but upon our return they were dressed in white linen cloths, fully dressed with red, white and blue balloons.  The large screens were in place also, but now decorated with the same colours, there was now also a checkered dance floor and the lighting was much dimmer.

Dressed to match the colours, as advised on the invitation I found a seat with my roomy and sat down to enjoy the show.  I had preordered drinks, that she kindly collected from the bar, we had a fabulous time, laughing, chatting and watching the awards ceremony; that saw my cousins husband won first prize of £10,000 !!!

The food was interesting and incredibly difficult….. Apparently it looked very pretty, but served on white plates with dim lights and light coloured food, it was a bit of a struggle for a VIP like me !

I survived though, my anxiety didn’t get the better of me, I had a pretty good time and I am now going to be giving away my inner turmoils of the weekend to those who were with me and will hopefully be reading this.


 

 

Clumsy blonde or should that be blindie?

Those of you who have followed me will know that I am A Mac!

This came about long before the iPhone, long before even the iPod.  This came from the days (way back when) a Mac was used for all things design and a PC was used for all things administrative.

Being that my Honours Degree is in Design Studies and a large part of that was graphic design, I got through university with a G4 (the most powerful Mac of its time)

The whole idea of an iPhone scared me, how could a visually impaired person use a phone without a keypad?   It was only once Nokia decided to remove Nuanse Talks from its new phones that I was forced towards the iPhone…… And I got on with it very easily, very easily indeed.

So, when my partner at the time had a bit of a payout, he bought me an iPad.  I loved it, it was fantastic and for the past few years with a wireless keyboard I have used this more than my MacBook Pro.

So, it wouldn’t surprise you that I took it into the garden to do some work.  Only to drop it!

It hit the patio with a thump and the screen broke….. I cried….. I screamed at myself….. And then I began to panic, thankfully everything on my iPad was backed up to iCloud, but how would I be able to buy a new one? How would I manage without it?

Then, thankfully, I remembered that it was one of the items I had specified on my home insurance.  So, a relitively painless phone call later, the call handler informed me that it was indeed covered on my insurance and for the price of my excess, I would receive a new iPad Air within 7-10 working days!

That was the longest 2 weeks of my life, although the newer versions of iPad do not have the same weight to them of the older versions….. So am trying to get so used to how light it feels !!

Since it arrived though, I have turned on the voiceover and apart from when the kids are using it for ‘bug club’ or ‘mathletics’ EVERYTHING I do on is accessible and audio based.

 

The sky is too bright

In true British fashion, we are forever complaining about the weather.  ‘It’s too cold’, ‘it’s too wet’ or when the sun is actually out…. ‘it’s too hot!’

Throw into the mix a visual impairment and then it becomes, ‘It’s too dark’, ‘it’s too grey’, ‘it’s too bright’, ‘it’s too cloudy’ or ‘there isn’t enough cloud Coverage!’

I most definitely fall into the latter category……… I am definitely best suited to a dull grey day or a blue sky (but only in the summer months, not the winter -then the sun is to low!!)

This is something I am finding to be an issue more and more of late.

While sat in a friends car yesterday I put the sun visor down, but on a jaunty angle.  The reason for this, wasn’t bright sunshine, rather a sky full of bright white clouds ready to turn black at any given moment and empty their content over those unfortunate enough not to be dressed for it!

My friend asked if I was ok? it was then that I realised I had never actually told anyone about these issues that I

So I started to explained it only it isn’t actually that easy to explain, because it is still pretty hard for me to understand and make sense of it myself.

By having a bright cloudy sky my eyes are drawn to it, I become like a magpie!  I can see the bright shiny, but then I find it hard to see anything else, not that I can see much!

So. By putting down the visor I block out the light,stopping myself being drawn to it and am able to try and focus on other things, like being able to see the colour of the car in front of us, or the shop and building colours?

Just more of the little things that are so insignificant to others, but are beginning to become more and more noticeable to me as I struggle to see them!

This is just s small hurdle I am to overcome before I can continue on my way.

To blog, or not to blog……. It shouldn’t have ever been a question!

Thankfully I am the thick-skinned stubborn gal I am…. Although even I found myself getting upset by it all.

Those of you who have followed my blog, know that I can be strong and determined in print, where, spoken word may often fail me.

 

This blog isn’t to anger you, it isn’t to slate a company, thankfully it was all due to the opinion of a minority.  My reason for sharing is to give the FULL picture of the whole situation.

And hopefully, a small part of me hopes that this reaches someone who may not have a good understanding of ‘blindness’ – This may help to educate about how ‘off-hand comments’ may have a much greater effect.

How it all started…..    I had a rare Saturday to myself, no plans, no children and as the sun was shining, I was up early and feeling ready to make the most of the day.

So, off to Whiteley I went; it’s not the easiest of places to get to if you don’t drive, but with the sun shining I didn’t mind the 20 minute walk from the station, I also knew that Mizz Fizz would enjoy the long leg stretch.

Being just after 9am when we arrived it was lovely and quiet, perfect for me, it meant I could ‘mooch’ about, take my time and know that it wouldn’t be too busy.

When training with a guide dog, my GDMI explained that shops can be difficult for a guide dog to work, many factors add to this, the smaller spaces, the extra obstacles and mostly ME.  As everyone does, when I shop I am constantly starting and stopping…. That can be a real struggle for a guide dog, so it is advised that if I can (in that I feel safe doing so) I should drop harness and walk with Fizz on her lead.  This means she can relax, not become stressed by the situation and I can take my time.

I went to a shop I LOVE, there is stationary, gifts, nic-nacs and most of all; being a large chain, the layout is pretty much the same whether you’re in a London store or as I was, in Whiteley.

This ‘familiarity’ is a great help to me. So…. In we went and down went the harness.  I was able to use the quietness of the store to focus in on the colourful displays, a member of staff came over to ask if he could be of assistance. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m just having a look around.” Was my polite reply.  And off he went.

I moved around a display and that was when I caught his conversation with his colleague.

And I found myself almost frozen to the spot in shock.  I wanted to run out of the store, but curiosity also made me want to stay and hear it all.

“I have never seen a proper blind person with a guide dog, she can clearly see, she isn’t even using the dog, she’s picking up things and having a good look at them.”

“I think it’s all a con so people can just bring their pet dogs into the shops.”

His colleague was clearly trying to hush him, he was talking in a quieter whisper, but as my eyes fail me, my ears pick up the slack….. Hence how I was able to hear this.

I did move away, to pick up a gift for a friend, I then went up to the counter to pay for my purchases.  I was hoping I would be served by his colleague, but sadly it was not to be.

He made small talk while he served me, asking my plans for the day and such.  It took a lot for me to talk and smile as if I had not heard a thing, but I did.

managed to keep it together until reaching a coffee shop, where I found myself shaken and beginning to feel angry.  Not with his comments, but with my inability to say something, to stand up.

So instead I sat down with a coffee and put the words down in an email.

I was a wreck, so much so I will share with you how personal and detailed I found myself becoming in my email.

 

Please bear with me, it’s quite lengthy !!

Hello.  Allow me to introduce myself, I am a bit of a stationary addict who happens to be visually impaired and relies on my faithful guide dog Fizz to allow me to live my life to the fullest.  Today I visited your Whiteley store to have a good ‘look’ around and pick up some gift wrap.

I was approached by a member of staff and asked if I would like any assistance, I said thanks, but that I was ok for now. He left and returned to his colleague at the counter, I continued to look around he store, when I overheard his conversation.

This caused me great upset, but I am also stubborn and was not going to let it show that I had heard. I purchased some gift wrap and on my receipt the name of my server was *********

I have a visual impairment, but where my eyes fail me, my ears step up, this mixed with it being an incredibly quiet store I heard him speak (even though I think he thought it was a whisper)

He was talking to his colleague about how he felt it was all a con, he had never seen a real blind person in the store with a guide dog, she (me I assume) is looking at things, walking around, she isn’t blind, she just wants to bring her pet dog in.

His colleague did try to quiet him, without luck. And I moved away so that I could hide my upset at his accusations.

I am sat with a coffee and voiceover on my phone typing this email. And still feeling sick, I am not one for confrontation, so am writing this email instead.

I am visually impaired, I am registered as disabled and the class of my registration is ‘severely sight impaired’ I have a condition that I have less than 6% of my vision left, which means I have pretty much no peripheral sight. Today I was wearing glasses, these are just to help reduce the glare from the bright sunny day. The sight I do have left does not enable me to read the top line on the eye chart at the hospital, where I go annually to have my degenerate condition monitored.

I should not need to be explaining any of this to you, yet I am.

In a shop environment I focus in on colour and in a store such as ********** I find the layout with the big tables and shelving units very easy to negotiate, it can be hard in any shop to work a guide dog (this is where I am holding both the lead and the harness) this is as it is usually a narrower space and one that she would struggle with. So I take it slowly and just hold her lead.

I did appreciate the initial offer of help, and many times when help is offered I will accept it, but on a day when it is quiet and I am able to ‘mooch about’ like others I do.

I will not be returning to your Whiteley store. I find it hard that at a time when access for working dogs is not just legislation, but actually forms part of the 2010 law on disability discrimination that someone would feel the need to even question my need for such a mobility aid, all be it a four pawed breathing, thinking mobility aid.

Very few of the 50,000 guide dog owners in the uk have no usable vision, as a person who will one day most likely lose even the little bit I have, I want to be able to keep my independence and freedom. I enjoy shopping and today I have been deeply upset and angered by the conversation and judgemental attitude of your staff.

I would like for a senior member of staff to speak him and make him aware of the impact on his comments. I will be sending a copy of this email to my local guide dog mobility team.

It was very difficult for me to make small talk when he served me, he has completely ruined my experience and made me feel like I don’t have the right to be independent.

I shall now be going home instead of continuing with my day, I will also be reflecting on this incident and when I am not as emotional shall write about it in my blog (address below)

Thank you for taking the time to read my email, I would appreciate hearing an explanation of the situation.

I have removed details of the store and servers name….. The reason for this is because of the response I have had from my email.

The Customer service team promptly replied informing me that my email had been passed to senior staff and that a full investigation would soon be started.  The customer service team reassured me that they were horrified on my behalf for the situation I experienced and wished to ensure that this didn’t happen again to me or any other customer.

I received several emails updating me and then came the one where they asked for my telephone number.  This was so that a company director could call me to ensure that I was ok.

It made me nervous and anxious, but I gave my number and awaited the call.  I have never had this response to a customer complaint before and didn’t know what to expect.

The following day the director called, he was a very kind and friendly gentleman, he apologised profusely on behalf of the company, he explained that is was not the ‘company opinion’ and I did say I was aware that by the tone aid the store staff member that this was clearly HIS opinion.  The director asked me if I would give the combat a second chance? Would I shop in a different one of their stores, he fully understood that I wasn’t happy to return to the store in Whiteley.  He said that he had not as yet spoke  to the staff member, he was awaiting a report by the area manager who would be conducting the investigation personally.

The director didn’t quiz me (which was what I expected) He just kept apologising for the way in which I had been treated.

He thanked me for taking his call and said that I would be updated as and when the investigation was concluded.

His call was followed up by an email for customer service asking for my address, so that a ‘good will’ gift could be sent to me.  I had explained o  the phone, that I didn’t do any of this to get something in return, which the director said he understood, but he appreciated me sharing my experience with him and the company.  Several weeks later an email arrived, (without going into details) stating that following a full and thorough investigation, the appropriate actions had been taken.

AND IT IS FOR THIS FOLLOW UP BY BOTH CUSTOMER SERVICE AND THE COMPANY DIRECTOR THAT I AM NOT NAMING NAMES.

I wanted to share my experience so that others were aware, how an ‘of Han:’ .omment can caus3 great upset to others.

 

Madness of Muse

19.30 ….. The time has come, the big event of my year is just one sleep away.

Tomorrow sees me return to the London O2 in North Greenwich, this time to see a very different performance in the act Muse.

I am currently laid on the bed in my hotel room, with a view (via the zoom view on my camera) of the O2 just across the river.  And the excitement is building….. Especially as when the traffic noise dies down; I can hear the sound check!

This is set to be a very ‘visual’ gig.  So I have my faithful friend and PA Simon with me to support me.  Unlike my trip to see Adele, this time I have bought my guiding girl Fizz with me, as I am away for a few days I wanted to be able to feel confident and comfortable while we are out tomorrow before the gig.

So, I have arranged with the accessibility team at the O2 to ensure that she will be well looked after.  This is the bit I am nervous about, how do they ‘look after’ her?

But for now off to sleep so we can enjoy a full day out tomorrow.

07.00….. Awake a breakfast eaten, I am thinking I am maybe just a little bit excited !!!

First, we are off to Stratford for the day, last night we grabbed the tube and went for a walk around the Olympic Park, but Sam hoping to go back today to ‘see’ it in daylight.  Simon was very fortunate to be one of the volunteers involved with the opening ceremony for the Olympics I’m 2012…. So, who better to be my guide?

The weather was interesting…. Bright blue sky, that thick black clouds. Here is the photo of what things looked like when we arrived it Stratford, we then went into the shopping centre and when we came out again, the sun was shining, yet the ground was soaked.

I had chosen the hotel for the ease of travelling to the O2, it was just one tube journey away.  After our day out, we got ready and left early to get to there with plenty of time.  As the tube got closer, more and more people joined the train and the buzz was so calm and yet exciting.  Fizz was calm and happy with the added attention she was getting each time someone got on or off.

I have previously visited the O2 (for dinner) with Fizz in the past, so she knew the route and remembered it well.  She was a star, the crowds were large, however she took it all in her stride and expertly Weaved her way through, I think even Simon was amazed by her work.  She was amazing and her skills were being put to good use, making it a much calmer experience for me.  And most of all, she was also enjoying the challenge.

The O2 isn’t just s concert venue, it’s a centre of entertainment, there are masses of restaurants, bars, coffee shops, a bowling alley and even a multi-screen cinema!  So, on entering we went for a drink, it was very busy, but not manic and we had kind of expected it.  Once the doors opened to the arena.  I had been advised that I needed to take Mizz Fizz to the customer service desk, where we would find assistance.  This was when we found our ‘ANGEL’ literally, it was a friendly member of the O2 staff, who had huge beautiful white wings made of feathers on her back.  She showed us which entrance that we were needing to go in to get to our seats, before taking us to the customer team, she introduced me to the senior member of staff, who had been expecting Fizz.  She took my contact details and introduced me to the male member of staff who would be Fizz’s guardian while we enjoyed the concert.  He would be taking her to a carpeted sound proofed room above the arena, she would be offered water and he would take her out for a short walk to enable her to go to the toilet.  I had bought w toy and treats with us, so that she would enjoy her experience.

Then information the staff gave me was a complete surprise and not something that I had thought of, but clearly it was a point that the staff were aware of, it wasn’t anything bad or of a concern, it was actually a great benefit.

Towards the end of the gig, a member of staff would walk Fizz to the entrance to the arena that we would be leaving by, this was so that we would be able to leave straight away, without having to battle amongst the crowds.

So, with fizz taken care of, Simon guided me to our seats and we were ready for the show!

Photo shows view from out seats, it shows the central stage with large lled lit balls attached to drone..... The title of the Touri could easily fill this post with photos of the show, I could bore you all with the enjoyment of the show….. I won’t, I will just say that I was amazed at how visual and precise the lighting was I was able to enjoy myself, the sound quality was spot on, I could clearly hear each word, for everything else I was able to use my phone to view, photograph and film.  For my own enjoyment later, not for sharing around.  So I have just end added one.

It all ended too quickly, it felt like we had been in there only an hour, rather than nearer three.

Muse had left the stage, the lights went on and all of a sudden I was aware of the sniff of Fizz behind me…. She had dragged her handler in through the doors as soon as they were open.  She, never being there before, came straight to us.  This was brilliant, as I had her harness with me, we were ready to leave.

…… Filled with memories that will never leave, even if my sight does.

 

 

What can I say?

So…. Following on from This gal is off to a Gig, I am sure you have all been waiting with great antisipation to hear my update of The O2.  I honestly don’t know what I can say, I was absolutely blown away.

We weren’t in any ‘special’ seating, we were in ZZ and oh my, that may sound terrible, but it was actually brilliant.

We walked in to the arena and our seats were on that very level on the left, no stairs, no panic over how the hell I was going to walk down amongst crowds of people.  All we had to do was shuffle along in front of people who had already taken their seats and we were there.

I was far too nervous to need the loo!  Even with the Vente Starbucks and the best part of 2 bottles of rosé…. I just wanted to watch it.  (I know I mostly listened, but the term ‘watching’ is part of my vocabulary. Just like ‘I’ll see you later’ even though it will be a very long time if ever that I actually SEE them!)

….. I hate those people who go to a gig and then watch it through the tiny screen on their phones, but tonight that was me!  Not for the whole gig, but definitely for the beginning, for the ‘pre show’ sitting down bit.

I wasn’t recording it, I was able to take the odd snap and look at it, the set up was amazing though.

photograph showing the stage, which has a large image of closed eyes, surrounded by a large light framing it.
photograph showing the size of the arena, showing the central stage along with the different levels down from my seat
As my photos show, we were high up, but with the big screen (and the use of my iPhone) where we sat was irrelevant.

Going to the gig was more about the atmosphere, the unexpected and the ‘live-ness’ of it all.

Adele probably has one of the most powerful voices of this age, she knows how to sing… She also knows how to talk to the crowd, in a way that makes you feel that you are at an intimate location, not sat in the O2 with 20,000 plus other people.  I guess being from London herself, she felt more relaxed in her surroundings.  She didn’t just sing though, she performed to the crowd.  Those sat close enough got involved, including two little girls who were 7 and 8.

There were two parts to her ‘stage’   She initially came up out of a box on the centre of the arena before moving to the large stage.  She then moved back to be centre stage, to me a small dot of lights was all that enable me to see this, until she was encased in a curtain…. That was when I got to see her, properly see her.

Photograph of the central stage with Adepe stood in the middle, surrounded by a sheer curtain that is showing her projected onto each of its 4sides
As the photo shows, she is projected up onto each of the four sides, she joked that she shouldn’t spin around, before doing just that…. Because it would make the audience dizzy and feel sick!

The whole event was amazing, the atmosphere was brilliant and when I began to get nervous about leaving, the staff were quickly on hand to help (while also checking out that my cane wasn’t some sort of weapon!)

I am even more excited now about returning next month to see Muse!  This time with Mizz Fizz who will be escorted out of the arena after I have been seated to spend her evening with the management team….. In an ‘almost’ sound proof office!

Way back when I wrote for Guide Dogs….

Tee stood in Cascade Shopping Centre on the campaign day with Fizz laid on the floor at my feet.

My whole reason for writing this blog is to raise awareness, share some of the crazy hiccups that occur along the way on my journey in a world of sight loss.

I enjoy campaigning about issues that I found myself affected by.  So, way back in September I supported Guide Dogs on a campaign day collecting signatures for a petition to ‘The Big 5.’  For which I wrote a one off blog for guidedog.org.uk, which is linked below.

Pavement Parking causing headaches.

Perfect vision …. If only in hindsight.

Isn’t it crazy how even to someone with poor eye sight, hindsight has perfect vision?

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Blind doesn’t mean I can’t see

A blurred image of a woman's eyes and the bridge of her nose.

Read more

A simple cold can bring the world down

It’s early January, the weather has beensuprisingly warm and wet, so having a cold is not something of a shock to me.  Its that time of year, it would be more suprising not to get one.

But this is different, this time this is making it a real struggle to get on…… I have plenty of tissues, Vick’s, hot blackcurrant and black tea to keep me going.

This time, the difference isn’t actually the cold, it is how it has affected my hearing, which in turn has made my world incrediby difficult to navigate within.

And if I am being totally honest, it is scaring the …. out of me.  My hearing is my indeoendance, my hearing is my way of ‘seeing’ the world.  My hearing is my escapism over a coffee, I am not currently able to pick up the conversations of strangers, I am struggling enough to pick up the conversation of anyone I am with!

I am feeling pretty lost.

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