Tag Archive for VIP

A very British problem ….


Is politeness.

Have just had a friend call me and apologise, it was lovely to speak with her, however I was a little confused.

She was all flustered and sounded upset, I initially thought she was phoning about her mum who was very sick and that it was bad news.

So it took a few moments…. Then again she apologised, so this time I asked her why.  Her answer;

Because I drove past you in my car going the opposite way and I waved to  you.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at this and said I hadn’t noticed her, so surely I should be the one apologising.  No, no; she continued.  She had spent the rest of her drive chastising herself for it, she wanted to call me the moment she got home to apologise for being so stupid.

By this point she was getting upset again and I struggled to calm her down.  I explained it wasn’t stupid and the gesture was lovely.  I explained that I wouldn’t have seen her, so apologised for not responding.

We both laughed about it and then she said the words, the words I have heard many many times before;

I just didn’t think, because you don’t look blind.

To this I laughed and again, she apologised.  Not that there was any need to, app of my friends know that I do not want to be treated differently, that if I need their help I will ask, so why wouldn’t she have waved to me while in her car?  She would do exactly the same to her other friends.

We talked about how I wasn’t offended by her comment, that I knew she hadn’t meant it as a bad thing.

We had a good giggle about how she would walk past me in the street and wave without me even noticing her.

it is not that I am ignoring or snubbing her, but if she is t speaking I wouldn’t be able to tell who it is.  And having spoken with total strangers before be chase they have waved at someone behind me!!  It is a situation I can relate to.

Raw Emotions

I have tried to think of a witty title, something to grab your attention …. Words really are failing me on this post though, so just going with the simple choice.

I have been struggling for a while, I have been fortunate to be able to talk to close friends, able to ‘gauge’ the reaction.  There are a few more I wanted to tell, but time and my own worry has stopped me.

Keeping it simple …… Not babbling on.  So, do excuse me if this sounds unemotional.  I don’t know how else to say it.

I am loosing my hearing.

So, it is said, those 5 little words and it is out there…… I have known now for a little while, it isn’t easy and I am not writing this for sympathy.

I’m writing this because it is getting harder and harder to hide it.  Saying “Pardon” sometimes three or four times, not being able to hold a conversation easily as a passenger in friends’ cars.

Its confusing, I can still pick up a conversation across the room, yet not hear the person beside me.  And the prognosis …. It will only get worse.

I am still awaiting my hearing aid appointment from the nhs, it could take upto another THREE months for them to book me in, I have however spoken with my consultants and they are putting appointments in place for me to confirm exactly the kind of deafness I have.

All early indications push towards it being a form of Ushers Sydrome, a condition that is part of the RP spectrum; Retinitis Pigmentosa Is the family that my eye conditions stems from.  And hearing loss or ‘Deafblind’ is another strand.

Those with ushers are either born with hearing loss or sight loss and the other sensory loss occurs later.

As someone who was only categorised as ‘severely sight impaired’ 8 years ago, having been born with the condition …. I am feeling quite numb about it all at the moment.

Those close to me have noticed something is up, but I haven’t been able to tell them all in person, either because of Busy diaries or because I haven’t been able to find the words.

(which anyone who knows me, knows I am not often stuck for words!)

Just like my sight loss, I am not going to let my hearing loss take away my sense of humour or change the friend I am, it’s just not an easy time right now and it’s all a bit of a struggle.

Thank you for taking the time to read, I appreciates it.

xx

The lengths I go to for a swim…

Last weeks climb is nothing in comparison to today’s challenge.

Today though was a very different type of challenge, this one was more of an anxiety, need for preparation and gaining some control over a situation.

I explain my WHY in What does ……  Today was one of those days; the kind of day where something out of my control was happening, something I couldn’t hide away from and something I didn’t want to hide from.

Because if I did, I would be disappointing and letting my son down.

So, time for a plan…..

My son was invited to a swim party!  A party where I was required to be in the water with him, something we had done before…. But never like this!

This was different, it was in a pool I had never been to, it was in a party environment, so I didn’t know if there would be lights, music or inflatables.  Oh and it was with many of the mums and dads from the school playground!

I set to work, I had a plan…. I was not going to let my son down, I WAS NOT going to let his friend and her family down by bailing out (I have paid for numerous birthday parties and know just how much they cost)

The pool and leisure centre was one that I had actually used before….. All be it 19 Years ago, before it was fully refurbished and renovated though.

This was a positive though …. The wonders of the Internet and EVERYTHING being online I was able to find a floor plan of the new building, a ‘street view’ of the exterior and images from the centres website to put together enough information to make me feel like I knew where I was going.  A virtual walk through if you like.

Then came my next worry, when in the pool, would I be able to see my son? Short answer is obvious….. No!

I didn’t want to ask another parent to look after him, I wanted to enjoy the party with him, but without keeping him all to myself and stopping him playing with his friends.

So, with his help I got from the changing rooms (where my cane was locked away) and into the pool.  I headed for a space at the side as to not get in anyone’s way.

I initially heard him playing, but soon the noise increased and it was hard to make him out.

A casual  “Hey, is Lawremce playing nicely?”  Gave me a conversation starter to find out roughly where he was in the pool, so I could focus in.  It was then a friend and fellow school mum said that she was keeping a look out for him as she knew I would find it tricky.  And as he was playing with her son it wasn’t difficult !!

Lawrence is a confident paddler, the party was in the training pool and I wanted him to enjoy his time at the party, hence another WHY I had to be there…. Knowing that everyone in the pool was known by the party hosts enabled me to relax my fear of stranger danger.

At one point. He came over to me and asked if I wanted to play, we had a real laugh, he was guiding me, without guiding me (if that makes any sense)

The one hour swim part of the party was over too soon and not only had Lawrence had a fabulous time, I too had had the chance to relax and enjoy the party fun.

Please take a moment to answer in the comments below; a few little question for me…

1. Would you, previously have thought this was a bit obsessive?

2.  Would you fear the opinion of your peers if you asked for support?


 

Jumping without a parachute …

Who needs a comfort zone anyway?  Last weekend I not only stepped out of mine, I jumped out of it without my parachute !!

Not even those closest to me may have even realised the inner turmoil I was battling with …… Fizz knew, she kept me calm, she kept me from falling apart and she kept me safe every time I needed her to put on her harness and be my eyes.

Any event/conference/summer spectacular is daunting for many!

A room with 2,000 other people is also terrifying in itself!

Then add to the mix you can only see shapes and colours; the lighting is set up as corporate and moves with the music; the music that is loud, pumped out around the room to ‘raise the roof’ to ‘motivate’ and to ‘excite’ EVERYONE in the room.

Having recently decided to stop ‘messing around with diets and fads’ and actual take control of my eating, my inner nutrients and my health, I looked to my cousin for support.  She introduced me to Herbalife, a safe, clean, nutrition fuelled way of eating, not a ‘diet product’ rather a way to live, a way to improve myself from the inside out, while being able to support me through training, rock climbing, bringing up my children and running around with each of my volunteer roles.

… Fast forward a few months and here I was, sat in Manchester, watching, learning and feeling empowered by The Herbalife Summer Spectacular.

The chosen venue was literally a large box!  A MASSIVE exhibition space that was broken up and segmented by heavy curtains, false walls and carpeting.

Having previously been to Manchester a few years ago, this didn’t concern me.  With the new Google Street View App on my phone I was able to walk around the outside of EventCity, I was able to find Starbucks, plan how to get from the hotel in MediaCity, again having visited the area before, I felt OK here.

I had a room-mate for the weekend, she absolutely adored Fizz and was wonderful, even volunteering to take her out for walks having never met either of us before.

…. Back to the venue…. I was invited to sit at the front of the room, an area reserved for those prestige members, an adjustment made just for me if it would help me see the event clearer.  Sadly no where I sat would have done that, so I stayed sat with my cousin and her friends.  Fizz was fabulous, she was so calm and took all the noises and light changes in her stride, not letting it bother her at all.

In the evening, we returned to EventCity for a dinner and awards ceremony.  I though I would be OK, I though that I now knew the venue and would be OK.  I had realised in the 2 hours that we had left the venue for, that the room had changed, the big round tables were still in place, but upon our return they were dressed in white linen cloths, fully dressed with red, white and blue balloons.  The large screens were in place also, but now decorated with the same colours, there was now also a checkered dance floor and the lighting was much dimmer.

Dressed to match the colours, as advised on the invitation I found a seat with my roomy and sat down to enjoy the show.  I had preordered drinks, that she kindly collected from the bar, we had a fabulous time, laughing, chatting and watching the awards ceremony; that saw my cousins husband won first prize of £10,000 !!!

The food was interesting and incredibly difficult….. Apparently it looked very pretty, but served on white plates with dim lights and light coloured food, it was a bit of a struggle for a VIP like me !

I survived though, my anxiety didn’t get the better of me, I had a pretty good time and I am now going to be giving away my inner turmoils of the weekend to those who were with me and will hopefully be reading this.


 

 

Clumsy blonde or should that be blindie?

Those of you who have followed me will know that I am A Mac!

This came about long before the iPhone, long before even the iPod.  This came from the days (way back when) a Mac was used for all things design and a PC was used for all things administrative.

Being that my Honours Degree is in Design Studies and a large part of that was graphic design, I got through university with a G4 (the most powerful Mac of its time)

The whole idea of an iPhone scared me, how could a visually impaired person use a phone without a keypad?   It was only once Nokia decided to remove Nuanse Talks from its new phones that I was forced towards the iPhone…… And I got on with it very easily, very easily indeed.

So, when my partner at the time had a bit of a payout, he bought me an iPad.  I loved it, it was fantastic and for the past few years with a wireless keyboard I have used this more than my MacBook Pro.

So, it wouldn’t surprise you that I took it into the garden to do some work.  Only to drop it!

It hit the patio with a thump and the screen broke….. I cried….. I screamed at myself….. And then I began to panic, thankfully everything on my iPad was backed up to iCloud, but how would I be able to buy a new one? How would I manage without it?

Then, thankfully, I remembered that it was one of the items I had specified on my home insurance.  So, a relitively painless phone call later, the call handler informed me that it was indeed covered on my insurance and for the price of my excess, I would receive a new iPad Air within 7-10 working days!

That was the longest 2 weeks of my life, although the newer versions of iPad do not have the same weight to them of the older versions….. So am trying to get so used to how light it feels !!

Since it arrived though, I have turned on the voiceover and apart from when the kids are using it for ‘bug club’ or ‘mathletics’ EVERYTHING I do on is accessible and audio based.

 

The sky is too bright

In true British fashion, we are forever complaining about the weather.  ‘It’s too cold’, ‘it’s too wet’ or when the sun is actually out…. ‘it’s too hot!’

Throw into the mix a visual impairment and then it becomes, ‘It’s too dark’, ‘it’s too grey’, ‘it’s too bright’, ‘it’s too cloudy’ or ‘there isn’t enough cloud Coverage!’

I most definitely fall into the latter category……… I am definitely best suited to a dull grey day or a blue sky (but only in the summer months, not the winter -then the sun is to low!!)

This is something I am finding to be an issue more and more of late.

While sat in a friends car yesterday I put the sun visor down, but on a jaunty angle.  The reason for this, wasn’t bright sunshine, rather a sky full of bright white clouds ready to turn black at any given moment and empty their content over those unfortunate enough not to be dressed for it!

My friend asked if I was ok? it was then that I realised I had never actually told anyone about these issues that I

So I started to explained it only it isn’t actually that easy to explain, because it is still pretty hard for me to understand and make sense of it myself.

By having a bright cloudy sky my eyes are drawn to it, I become like a magpie!  I can see the bright shiny, but then I find it hard to see anything else, not that I can see much!

So. By putting down the visor I block out the light,stopping myself being drawn to it and am able to try and focus on other things, like being able to see the colour of the car in front of us, or the shop and building colours?

Just more of the little things that are so insignificant to others, but are beginning to become more and more noticeable to me as I struggle to see them!

This is just s small hurdle I am to overcome before I can continue on my way.

To blog, or not to blog……. It shouldn’t have ever been a question!

Thankfully I am the thick-skinned stubborn gal I am…. Although even I found myself getting upset by it all.

Those of you who have followed my blog, know that I can be strong and determined in print, where, spoken word may often fail me.

 

This blog isn’t to anger you, it isn’t to slate a company, thankfully it was all due to the opinion of a minority.  My reason for sharing is to give the FULL picture of the whole situation.

And hopefully, a small part of me hopes that this reaches someone who may not have a good understanding of ‘blindness’ – This may help to educate about how ‘off-hand comments’ may have a much greater effect.

How it all started…..    I had a rare Saturday to myself, no plans, no children and as the sun was shining, I was up early and feeling ready to make the most of the day.

So, off to Whiteley I went; it’s not the easiest of places to get to if you don’t drive, but with the sun shining I didn’t mind the 20 minute walk from the station, I also knew that Mizz Fizz would enjoy the long leg stretch.

Being just after 9am when we arrived it was lovely and quiet, perfect for me, it meant I could ‘mooch’ about, take my time and know that it wouldn’t be too busy.

When training with a guide dog, my GDMI explained that shops can be difficult for a guide dog to work, many factors add to this, the smaller spaces, the extra obstacles and mostly ME.  As everyone does, when I shop I am constantly starting and stopping…. That can be a real struggle for a guide dog, so it is advised that if I can (in that I feel safe doing so) I should drop harness and walk with Fizz on her lead.  This means she can relax, not become stressed by the situation and I can take my time.

I went to a shop I LOVE, there is stationary, gifts, nic-nacs and most of all; being a large chain, the layout is pretty much the same whether you’re in a London store or as I was, in Whiteley.

This ‘familiarity’ is a great help to me. So…. In we went and down went the harness.  I was able to use the quietness of the store to focus in on the colourful displays, a member of staff came over to ask if he could be of assistance. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m just having a look around.” Was my polite reply.  And off he went.

I moved around a display and that was when I caught his conversation with his colleague.

And I found myself almost frozen to the spot in shock.  I wanted to run out of the store, but curiosity also made me want to stay and hear it all.

“I have never seen a proper blind person with a guide dog, she can clearly see, she isn’t even using the dog, she’s picking up things and having a good look at them.”

“I think it’s all a con so people can just bring their pet dogs into the shops.”

His colleague was clearly trying to hush him, he was talking in a quieter whisper, but as my eyes fail me, my ears pick up the slack….. Hence how I was able to hear this.

I did move away, to pick up a gift for a friend, I then went up to the counter to pay for my purchases.  I was hoping I would be served by his colleague, but sadly it was not to be.

He made small talk while he served me, asking my plans for the day and such.  It took a lot for me to talk and smile as if I had not heard a thing, but I did.

managed to keep it together until reaching a coffee shop, where I found myself shaken and beginning to feel angry.  Not with his comments, but with my inability to say something, to stand up.

So instead I sat down with a coffee and put the words down in an email.

I was a wreck, so much so I will share with you how personal and detailed I found myself becoming in my email.

 

Please bear with me, it’s quite lengthy !!

Hello.  Allow me to introduce myself, I am a bit of a stationary addict who happens to be visually impaired and relies on my faithful guide dog Fizz to allow me to live my life to the fullest.  Today I visited your Whiteley store to have a good ‘look’ around and pick up some gift wrap.

I was approached by a member of staff and asked if I would like any assistance, I said thanks, but that I was ok for now. He left and returned to his colleague at the counter, I continued to look around he store, when I overheard his conversation.

This caused me great upset, but I am also stubborn and was not going to let it show that I had heard. I purchased some gift wrap and on my receipt the name of my server was *********

I have a visual impairment, but where my eyes fail me, my ears step up, this mixed with it being an incredibly quiet store I heard him speak (even though I think he thought it was a whisper)

He was talking to his colleague about how he felt it was all a con, he had never seen a real blind person in the store with a guide dog, she (me I assume) is looking at things, walking around, she isn’t blind, she just wants to bring her pet dog in.

His colleague did try to quiet him, without luck. And I moved away so that I could hide my upset at his accusations.

I am sat with a coffee and voiceover on my phone typing this email. And still feeling sick, I am not one for confrontation, so am writing this email instead.

I am visually impaired, I am registered as disabled and the class of my registration is ‘severely sight impaired’ I have a condition that I have less than 6% of my vision left, which means I have pretty much no peripheral sight. Today I was wearing glasses, these are just to help reduce the glare from the bright sunny day. The sight I do have left does not enable me to read the top line on the eye chart at the hospital, where I go annually to have my degenerate condition monitored.

I should not need to be explaining any of this to you, yet I am.

In a shop environment I focus in on colour and in a store such as ********** I find the layout with the big tables and shelving units very easy to negotiate, it can be hard in any shop to work a guide dog (this is where I am holding both the lead and the harness) this is as it is usually a narrower space and one that she would struggle with. So I take it slowly and just hold her lead.

I did appreciate the initial offer of help, and many times when help is offered I will accept it, but on a day when it is quiet and I am able to ‘mooch about’ like others I do.

I will not be returning to your Whiteley store. I find it hard that at a time when access for working dogs is not just legislation, but actually forms part of the 2010 law on disability discrimination that someone would feel the need to even question my need for such a mobility aid, all be it a four pawed breathing, thinking mobility aid.

Very few of the 50,000 guide dog owners in the uk have no usable vision, as a person who will one day most likely lose even the little bit I have, I want to be able to keep my independence and freedom. I enjoy shopping and today I have been deeply upset and angered by the conversation and judgemental attitude of your staff.

I would like for a senior member of staff to speak him and make him aware of the impact on his comments. I will be sending a copy of this email to my local guide dog mobility team.

It was very difficult for me to make small talk when he served me, he has completely ruined my experience and made me feel like I don’t have the right to be independent.

I shall now be going home instead of continuing with my day, I will also be reflecting on this incident and when I am not as emotional shall write about it in my blog (address below)

Thank you for taking the time to read my email, I would appreciate hearing an explanation of the situation.

I have removed details of the store and servers name….. The reason for this is because of the response I have had from my email.

The Customer service team promptly replied informing me that my email had been passed to senior staff and that a full investigation would soon be started.  The customer service team reassured me that they were horrified on my behalf for the situation I experienced and wished to ensure that this didn’t happen again to me or any other customer.

I received several emails updating me and then came the one where they asked for my telephone number.  This was so that a company director could call me to ensure that I was ok.

It made me nervous and anxious, but I gave my number and awaited the call.  I have never had this response to a customer complaint before and didn’t know what to expect.

The following day the director called, he was a very kind and friendly gentleman, he apologised profusely on behalf of the company, he explained that is was not the ‘company opinion’ and I did say I was aware that by the tone aid the store staff member that this was clearly HIS opinion.  The director asked me if I would give the combat a second chance? Would I shop in a different one of their stores, he fully understood that I wasn’t happy to return to the store in Whiteley.  He said that he had not as yet spoke  to the staff member, he was awaiting a report by the area manager who would be conducting the investigation personally.

The director didn’t quiz me (which was what I expected) He just kept apologising for the way in which I had been treated.

He thanked me for taking his call and said that I would be updated as and when the investigation was concluded.

His call was followed up by an email for customer service asking for my address, so that a ‘good will’ gift could be sent to me.  I had explained o  the phone, that I didn’t do any of this to get something in return, which the director said he understood, but he appreciated me sharing my experience with him and the company.  Several weeks later an email arrived, (without going into details) stating that following a full and thorough investigation, the appropriate actions had been taken.

AND IT IS FOR THIS FOLLOW UP BY BOTH CUSTOMER SERVICE AND THE COMPANY DIRECTOR THAT I AM NOT NAMING NAMES.

I wanted to share my experience so that others were aware, how an ‘of Han:’ .omment can caus3 great upset to others.

 

Way back when I wrote for Guide Dogs….

Tee stood in Cascade Shopping Centre on the campaign day with Fizz laid on the floor at my feet.

My whole reason for writing this blog is to raise awareness, share some of the crazy hiccups that occur along the way on my journey in a world of sight loss.

I enjoy campaigning about issues that I found myself affected by.  So, way back in September I supported Guide Dogs on a campaign day collecting signatures for a petition to ‘The Big 5.’  For which I wrote a one off blog for guidedog.org.uk, which is linked below.

Pavement Parking causing headaches.

Perfect vision …. If only in hindsight.

Isn’t it crazy how even to someone with poor eye sight, hindsight has perfect vision?

Read more

A simple cold can bring the world down

It’s early January, the weather has beensuprisingly warm and wet, so having a cold is not something of a shock to me.  Its that time of year, it would be more suprising not to get one.

But this is different, this time this is making it a real struggle to get on…… I have plenty of tissues, Vick’s, hot blackcurrant and black tea to keep me going.

This time, the difference isn’t actually the cold, it is how it has affected my hearing, which in turn has made my world incrediby difficult to navigate within.

And if I am being totally honest, it is scaring the …. out of me.  My hearing is my indeoendance, my hearing is my way of ‘seeing’ the world.  My hearing is my escapism over a coffee, I am not currently able to pick up the conversations of strangers, I am struggling enough to pick up the conversation of anyone I am with!

I am feeling pretty lost.

Page Reader Press Enter to Read Page Content Out Loud Press Enter to Pause or Restart Reading Page Content Out Loud Press Enter to Stop Reading Page Content Out Loud Screen Reader Support