Archive for Theresa Osborne-Bell

Insight in to the future – I didn’t like it

Yesterday morning I ran out of hayfever tablets, and it wasn’t until getting ready to go to bed after my eyes had felt ‘scratchy’ all evening that I remembered. But within few short minutes it was too late.

The damage was done and there was absolutely nothing I could do.

My eyes started to weep a sticky kind of tear, my eye lids swelled and involuntarily my eyes were closed.

Painfully so, too the point that I had to physically pull them open to try to put drops in, but the pain was so great I gave up on that idea.

All of this is down to my hay-fever, not my eye condition. So I wasn’t overly concerned.

But I wasn’t prepared for what happened and how what followed made me feel.

Not being able to put the eye drops in, the only other option was sleep or try too.

But to get to bed, I first had to turn off the lights and ‘close-up’ the house for the night.

I can and often do walk around my house without the lights on and I know where everything is … Well, maybe apart from the odd toy, or worse a large dog smoked bone !!

But, this was very different.

If I close my eyes when all the lights are on, I can still see the brightness from the lights through my eyelids.

And this was exactly what it was like last night, only because of the swelling and pain, I couldn’t just open my eyes a see the shapes of the lights.

This brightness was very uncomfortable, and more upsetting than I though possible.

Walking around the house turning off the lights was something that physically I could do, but emotionally it was heart breaking.

It wasn’t until the house was in complete darkness that I was able to feel calm again.

There is likely to come a time in the not so distant future when all that I will be able to see is light from dark, with possible shadowing.

Lastnight was an insight (pun intended) to what that world will feel like.

And I don’t think it is ever a world that I will he ready for.

Although registered as severely sight impaired, which many class as ‘blind’ (even in the medical world) I can still see, all be it small amounts in little detail, this is enough, my brain and memory can fill in the rest.

How will my memory cope with filling in the rest when all I can see is light and dark?

How will I tell that my children are amiling if I can only see their shadows?

Will I ever be able to cope with the fact that my sight is ever diminishing?

Or understanding how I will fit in an ever shrinking world?

Any ideas would be grateful received.

Thank you.

When the guide dog became the attraction at the zoo


My guide dog is often admired when we are out and about.  Many people are surprised when they see a dog in an inside environment, such as a shopping centre or cinema.  But people appear much more surprised when they meet us at somewhere like a theme park.

As it’s the Easter weekend I got the opportunity to go to Drayton Manor to visit Thomas Land with my little boy.  We had a fabulous time in the park, lots of rides and my GD Vicky enjoyed all the fussing she was getting while we waited in line for our turn.

She didn’t go on any of the rides with us, she stayed with one of our party so that I had her to guide me, but didn’t have to miss out on the fun and thrills of the rides.

Drayton Manor have their own zoo with a collection of owls, monkeys and a black leopard.

Having phoned ahead of our visit, I had spoken with one of the keepers and they were happy for my GD to go into the zoo area, with the provision that if she of the animals appearedto be distressed I was to walk away.

There were numerous zoo staff around the zoo who were very happy to see us and help explain what was in the enclosures.

The monkeys were the first to spot Vicky.

They were very interested and intreaged by her.  They came up to the bars on their cage to see her.

Photo 19-04-2014 13 48 51

Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43Then there was black leopard, she came right up to see Vicky, yet she wasn’t stressed or showing any aggression, just interest.

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And then there was the gibbons, they wanted to play, they were chatting away to Vicky and she in return was making noises to them too.  But again, with a zoo keeper on hand, I was reassured that this was friendly chatter that they often sharedamongst themselves during play times.

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Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43I was able to get some lovely pictures of the animals in the zoo, so once home I could actually sit down and look through the pictures with my son and he was telling me about what he thought of when he had seen the animals.  For me, seeing animals when visiting the zoo with my children is not something that I get to do very often.

It is only in more recent years that zoo’s have allowed guide dogs and other assistance dogs into the grounds, with many restrictions for the safety of the animals and the dogs.  With Vicky by my side, both me and my son were able to have a much closer encounter to the animals than we had ever thought possible.

A Gem Lettuce of a Find

As A woman who has suffered from my ‘over-indulgences’ with food, I am tackling my life with a healthy eating attitude to food in addition to getting fitter. Like many who have suffered with depression, I let myself go and used ‘rubbish food’ as my crutch to make me happy…… And guess what? It didn’t work!

Anyway, now I am an active member of my local Slimming World group. With a fabulous consultant in Liz, who is herself on the slimming world journey. She has great snippets of information and ideas to help us all alone.

A few weeks ago, whilst in group, we were talking about how time consuming it is to make and prepare home-made chips. A member in the group admitted that she didn’t have the time for the ‘faffing about’, this was when Liz told us of a local greengrocers that sold pre-cut potatoes for chips.

As a VIP, it has been a very long time since I have had proper ‘home-made’ chips, as although I can peel a potato, slicing it for chips is far beyond me, without the risk if injury that is!!

So, off I went to a nearby Stubbington village to The Fruit Basket…..

WOW! it was a beautifully laid out store, clearly arranged by fruit, core veg, salad, root veg and a lovely selection of miniature veg. Then there was the fridge with the milk and next to that the largest selection of ‘fresh’ pre-prepared fruit and veg.

Not like the bags in the supermarkets, but simply washed, peeled and cut assortments of goodies.

Unfortunately, no pre-cut potatoes for chips.

They did have, peeled and cut potatoes, onions, (which I haven’t cooked with in years) carrots, squash and swede to name just a few of the bit I picked up. And at very reasonable prices with an offer of 4 bags for the price of 3 I was sold.

This in addition to fruit I had picked up, which I must say is still fresh over 2 weeks later (unlike my last fruit/veg shop from the supermarket)

I was a very happy bunny, with a large bag of fresh, healthy foods. That when I got home, I felt it was only right for me to contact the company to tell them how helpful I had found them.

They have 2 shops in my local area and their warehouse is based within Gosport where they supply many local restaurants and catering companies…. Which I why they are able to offer the freshly prepared fruit and veg within their shops to the general public.

So off went my email, I commented on how accessible the pre-prepared range was to me and would enable me to be more independent with my cooking and more adventurous with what I ate (to be honest if I couldn’t cut it or de-seed it easily, I often wouldn’t bother.) I also mentioned about the chips, especially as my Slimming World consultant had mentioned it to a room full of about 45 men and women.

This was the reply I got…….

Hi Theresa,
Thank you for your email.
Glad to hear our prep fruit & veg is useful to you.
We stopped selling the chips due to lack of demand, but we would love to give them another go and see if there is any improvement.
Our prep team will start preparing them in the next few days, so hopefully you will see them in the shop by the end of the week!
Many thanks
Jenni

And true to their word, I went back on Monday this week and there they were….. Bags of big chunky chips.

All I did was par-boil them, then popped them in the oven with a light coating of ‘fry-light’ and salt……. They were delicious and went down a treat with the kids too (which is always a bonus!)

The Fruit basket will be my regular stop for my fruit and veg needs, you get what you pay for and in saying that, as I have actually found them better value for money than my local supermarket.

Scaling a Mountain.

It has been a busy few weeks and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath or update you all on what has been going on in the world of Tee.

After months, months and months of putting it off, I booked myself on a new course to really test my ability to do something that you wouldn’t usually find a VI doing. I did a taster course in rock climbing.

I know, many have questioned me “why rock climbing?’
The answer is simple. Since loosing my sight I have also lost my fear of heights.

So in answer to them, “Why not?’

I have a friend who introduced me to it, a few years ago when he spoke of how he used to climb, but as his climbing partner had moved away and life had got away with him, he hadn’t been.

So, booked the course and off we went to Calshot, a fabulous climbing (among other things) facility.

Yellow indoor climbing wall with multiple coloured climbings holds and the centres logo "Calshot Activity Centre" written in black across the middle of the wall.

Unfortunately, like many great places, it is a 60 mile round trip. But definitely worth the trip. But as you can see from the images, they have some wonderful climbs.

I was incredibly nervous. More so, when we arrived and I was the only girl doing the course. Other than my friend, the seven other men were on a work night out. My nerves were soon settled by the course instructor Adam.

Upon completing the online booking form for the course, I had detailed my visual impairment, so Adam was prepared. He was happy to take his time with me to feel and understand the harness before I put it on. He explained that he had never worked with a visually impaired climber before, so if I needed more help or even less, to just be honest with him, so that he can ensure me the best possible experience whilst being safe.

Pan view of Calshot climbing walls.  Shows several of the centres climbing walls, each of which is in a different colour, with multiple coloured climbing holds.  The yellow at the far right of the image has a person climbing half way up to the top.

We all went out to the first wall after we had put our harnesses on, ready to start our experience. As their was nine on the course, we were put into groups of three’s. That gave each team a climber, a belay and an anchor, giving each of us the opportunity to have several goes within each role.

It is hard for me to put into words how it felt the first time I started to climb. It was a mixture of nerves, panic, strain and probably the biggest dose of adrenaline I have felt in an incredibly long time.

Having had the opportunity to belay before I climbed, the concern I had about someone holding my weight was quashed. The guy I belayed was quite tall and heavier than me, but when I was helping guide him down, he didn’t feel it. (I am a girl after all and weight it always a concern, one that doesn’t decrease as my sight does!)

So, standing in front of the wall (the blue wall shown in the photograph above) and looking at it in such closeness.

I froze.

I literally hit a wall.

I could see the blue of the wall, but I could only make out the occasional climbing holds, which all seemed to be much further away than my hands and feet could reach.  So I started, reaching first with my hands and hap-hazardly with my feet, but I was on my way, very slowly.  This was where Simon came in, he started to explain to me where I could move, simple instructions like “left foot left knee’  but it was enough… It meant that although I couldn’t see the holds by my feet or even my feet for that matter, I could see my hands and where they could go, with the explanations from the ground I made it about half way, before fear and emotion kicked in.

Once getting back on the ground and speaking with Simon and Adam, they explained that often the belayer will give such instructions from the ground to the climber, regardless of skill.  As it was often easier to see a hold from the ground.

After we had all had a chance to scale this wall, we were taken to a different wall, this was where Adam showed his concern for my sight and my ability.  As he had moved us to a wall that had an over-hang on it, which he was concerned that if I were to climb it, I may hit my head.  So he placed my team on a wall slightly away from the main group.  To a yellow wall, that went straight up.

The yellow was easier to see the holds on (well most of them) as the lighting on this side of the centre was clearer too.

I could go on and on about what it was like to climb this wall, but I’m not here to bore you.

After we had climbed, we went back to the team room to de-harness and this was when after the others had left, I was able to have a very honest conversation with Adam and Simon.  Adam was already able to see that I had ‘caught the bug’ and he was so kind as to talk me through different harnesses, climbing shoes and different options for learning to climb.

As we were leaving, he even gave me my own piece of 10mm rope so that I could learn to make a ‘figure of 8’ and practice it in preparation for taking part in the induction training course.

So, my new love affair began…..

That was six weeks ago now!!  My induction course is booked for April, but in the meantime I have been climbing pretty much every week as Simon’s guest at the climbing wall.

(But that is another post….)

Blind Fail !!

Tonight while walking home from a meeting I had one of my ‘blind fails’, this one is also a bit of a blonde moment too.

I love walking, day or evening, rain or shine. Admittedly I prefer walking in nicer weather! I am happy walking in my local area, as I know the area well and with my guide dog by my side I feel safer as a single girl walking than if I were fully alone.

I am very aware of my surroundings, both from a VI point of view and a street sense way.

So tonight while walking home I thought I was being followed. I could hear someone very close to me, when I slowed down, so did they. When I sped up, they too sped up. When I stopped completely, they too stopped completely. I crossed the road three times and so did they!

Yet every time I looked around, I couldn’t see anyone.

It was at that point that I walking into a shop, with it’s good lighting and staff members I was beginning to feel safer and relaxed, when I realised that the person following me was still with me.

How though?

And that was when I found out the truth.

I wasn’t being followed at all…. I was in fact spooking myself with my own bag!

Several weeks ago I bought a new backpack from ‘Kipling’ a beautiful pink backpack, with it’s own little monkey keychain. That I discovered tonight swings when I walk!

Despite having the bag for several weeks, tonight is the first time I have not had my bag full.

So for the first time since buying my bag, I could actually hear the cheeky little monkey hitting my bag !!

So, as the title suggests…. A blind fail !!

Or should that read …. A blonde fail ??

Time to find me sea legs

You may, if you have followed me for a white remember me saying that I am setting myself personal challenges. Last Year it was the Great South Run, this year I am going sailing.

Yes you read right, sailing!!

I have travelled by ferry many a time, but I have never sailed. And by sailing I mean, all hands on deck and joining in whole heartily with the skipper and my fellow crew to sail a yacht.

So, come July I am setting sail with fellow VI’s with VI-SA, the Visually Impaired Sailing Association.

I have already met many of my fellow crew at the VI-SA annual gathering that I went to last weekend in London. Where I discovered, that just like me, they don’t take sight loss too seriously and most definatiely don’t let it stop them from doing anything.

So, watch this space for more updates. This years challenge is personal for me,, so will not be a fundraising venture. That will be saved for next year with something big!

The pooch surprises me again.

My guide dog has given me so much independence and confidence to do things in the 4 1/2 yeas we have been working together, she has also listened to all my woes and never told a soul.

She is now in a stage in her working glide where she is slowing down and her ‘stubborn retriever’ personality is overpowering her guide dog training.  But she is still working, I have had to allow myself time to adjust to this slower pace, but a slower guide dog is still a much better option than a long cane.  Definitely for me, although I am aware that isn’t the case for everyone.

When she was trained, Vicky also recovered additional ‘target training’ from her handler.  This means I can say key words and she will find these for me, for me, this is key when out and about, she is trained for crossing buttons, bins, postboxes, doors, counters and lifts.  Since being with me, she has picked up a few extras from the ‘usual’ places we go to.  She can now find cash points, she can also find a costa coffee house, even in towns we have never visited before.

But tonight she surprised me totally with her target.  Arriving in town we popped to the cashpoint, then leaving there I said “let’s go to the pub then” to which her posture stiffened and she was off, passed the ‘local’ pub that we were stood near into the nicer pub, which was the one we haven’t been in for months and months.  But she knew!

The costa coffee I could put down to being a ‘far too regular a route’ but the pub?  She didn’t just go to the one we were stood by.

Tonight, after what has been a challenging time with her has just affirmed how much more than a mobility aid she is.  She has a memory, she can think on her paws and she does so much more for me than get me from A to B.  She keeps me independant.

Oh and tonight she got me a free drink from a stranger while I waited for my friend!!! BONUS

Technology Sees’ Everything

I would say that I am a tech reliant vip. The reason for this is because I don’t go anywhere without my iPhone, iPad and headphones. No I am not an apple geek, but I am reliant on google maps, street view and up to the minute travel planning such as ‘Travel line’, ‘National Rail’ and even local weather, all of which have fabulous little app’s.

When travelling somewhere new, I am meticulous at planning my route, my first port of call is The Travel Line, where all I need to do is put in a start and end point. I can even put the time I either want to leave, or arrive by. It will then come up with a list of travel options for me that include walking, buses, ferries, coaches and trains. This is where I can ‘tweak’ it to my preferences, for example, I can put the maximum time I am happy to walk between other transport. I can even view the route on a map, which is animated to show me through the whole trip, with icons for walking, buses, ferries and trains. Which I can zoom in on the work out.

If I am travelling by train, I can then check up on all the information that I need via the National Rail app. The reason I check this too, is because it will break the information down even further. It will list each of the stops that the train will make, it will also tell me which platform the train departs from and arrives on…. This is particularly handy if I need to change trains at a station, as I can navigate much more by myself without additional assistance. (although if I need it, I will ask for help from the station staff)

I will plan my route from home and then take ‘screen shots’ of the information or even save the travel details to my calendar, just incase I have no internet access via wifi or 3g on my travels.

When planning my route, lines on a map do nothing for me. So I am an avid fan of googles ‘street view’ this enables me to visualise the route from a bus stop, along a walk or even find short cuts, that the route planners may not show.

This is of course only as good as the information that has been recorded, for example if I street view my own house, I see the driveway in its old position, not it’s actually how it is now.

But as the map navigation is continually updated, I (as yet) haven’t become completely stuck because of it.

An example of this was earlier this week, when I had to visit the Southampton offices for Guide Dogs. An office that is a ‘tad’ out of the way for guide dog owners.

So I planned my route at home, based on the time that I needed to arrive, then to allow for delays, followed the details for the slightly earlier journey.

Which in this instant was needed.

Having navigated to the train station and from there to the bus stop needed in southampton, I even asked for assistant from the people at the stop with me, to help with the bus I needed. As a major calling point all of the other buses that came to the stop all pulled in. My bus didn’t and the person who said they would help me, did help, but only to tell me that the bus had driven straight past!

So, out came my phone to check the time of the next bus from the stop I was at…. And it wouldn’t be for another hour. So the Costa next to the stop enabled me to piggyback on wifi (as it is faster than 3g, which I would have used if no wifi was available)

Thankfully, there was another bus that would take me to Chilworth where the office is situated. It was however, 15 minutes walk from where I was, in an area of Southampton that I wasn’t familiar with. So, out came the headphones and on when google maps.

I was able to navigate and instruct Vicky my guide dog without having to look at my phone at all.

I have ‘over ear’ headphones so that I can comfortably listen to information that I need, and have one ear free to hear my surroundings. Plus I have never been a fan of in-ear as I find them too good at noise cancelling and also, quite uncomfortable as my ears are quite sensitive.

So, with my bit of tech I was able to find my way to the other bus. Once getting on, having double checked the number and that it stopped where I wanted imagine my surprise and relief when the driver said ” my bus has audio, so you will know when we are approaching your stop.”

There is an Eclipse route between Fareham and Gosport that has audio on it, just like you get only trains! But I wasn’t aware of other services or even other bus companies were using it.

So instead of having to rely on my iPhone and it’s apps, I would just sit back, relax and listen for my destination.

Audio announcements on buses is a major plus for many people, not just us VIPs, it works for people who are unfamiliar to the area or those travelling in the dark. Because, unlike trains you can’t count the stops on a bus as the bus does t always stop!!

So, with the help of all this tech I am able to gain even greater independence, without having to fully rely on others, I can also use public transport instead of more expensive taxis thanks to free apps that are available for smartphone and iPhone users alike.

 

 

 

 

Silly Sewing

My daughter moved from Rainbows to Cubs in September. She has been a very busy bee with her challenges, leaving me with the joy of sewing them on.

Until recently I had called upon my ex-partner to do this, but on Monday evening when Alannah came to me stating she needed her art challenge badge sewn on before her meeting in 45 minutes time! Eek….. It was down to me to get out the needle and tread.

Well, you can imagine, just threading the needle to start with was fun! Not.

Then trying to figure out where the badge needed to be placed followed with a quick call to a friend who is a cub leader.

Calm restored, the sewing began. It went very well, it was neatly done and in the right place as described to me.

Although the badge itself…. Was upside down!

Dilemma struck.

Do I un-pick it and send her in in-complete uniform or make her look a fool?

I admitted defeat and un-picked it.

Alannah explained to AJ her leader about my ‘silly sewing’ And came home with yet another badge for me!

Thankfully she didn’t loose points for my mistake and I have already had an email offering me sewing support too.

Inquizative Cubs

Having a friend that is a cub leader I was invited by him to speak to his cub group about my sight, having a guide dog and help them to understand that people have differences in how they communicate and see the world.

I have done talks before about having and using a guide dog, I have even visited my daughters school to explain about Vicky and as the age of the children increased, the questions moved away from guide dogs and included things like “how do you see your mouth to put food in it?” “How do you see your bottom to wipe it when you’ve been to the loo?” (Which horrified the teacher. Thankfully not me.

So, I started my talk explaining about Vicky, what she did for me, how to react when you see someone with a guide dog, the usual awareness type talk. I then went on to explain about ‘being blind’ and what I couldn’t see rather than what I can’t, after all as I always explain about my sight, I don’t know what I can’t see.

With the help of an app on my iPad that shoes an example of what it is to see with particular eye conditions I was able to show them what a picture looks like for me.

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They say apicturespeaks a thousand words. Would you agree?

VisionSim of Family Plaque Family plaque by Charming Little Home

Above on the left is how I see (without the blackness or red ring) on the right is the actual photograph. With the cubs I did this by taking an image of their cub leader, they were all amazed by it.

The cubs were fantastic, they asked lots of questions including how my guide dog guides me, so by splitting the group up to make a corridor, leaving one child sitting in the middle of it, I showed them.

Vicky walked me along and when she came to the obstacle (the child) she stopped and stood, she ignored the child. I gave her the command to walk on, but as there was no space for us to do that she sat down. I asked her to find the way and she turned me around and walked around the children instead.

I went on to talk about Braille and allowed the children to see an example of this. Again this bought up many questions.

My talk lasted over 40 minutes, but the cubs sat happily listening and asking questions. Speaking with the leader afterwards he told me that he had never seen them so enthusiastic about listening and learning before.

I got a lot out of my talk with the cubs, I just hope that they did to.

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