Today is one filled with mixed emotions, concerns and thoughts. Today, 18th January 2015 is the last working day for my guide dog Vicky. We have been working together as a qualified team since 18th November 2009, and it has been an amazing 5
03
Sep 2016
So….. Today, this happened !!
It’s almost 11.00 o’clock, 12 hours after this crazy day started. The climbing arena was nothing like I had ever seen before and no matter how much I had researched and looked at photo after photo I was not prepared for the quarry that I
02
Sep 2016
Maybe I Should have said something before…..
Well, this is something new……. I am sat in the passenger seat of my friends car doing 70+ MPH on the M6 Motorway travelling on my way to Edinburgh; while typing this blog. My iPad is tethered to my phone for 4G and my voiceover
18
Dec 2016
Another church and The Angel of the North….. Was it a sign?
Round 4 of the Paraclimbing series for 2016, the final in this years competitions, another great location and my chance to shine. Newcastle Climbing Centre is set within the walls of an old church, one that was much larger and steeped in more history than
14
Apr 2025
Who needs a comfort zone anyway?
Its been a while. 2024 threw me some pretty horrid curve balls, I was exhausted; emotionally, mentally and physically. And I allowed myself to get lost among it all. 2025 has been about making peace with the demons, coping with the new way of doing
11
Jul 2017
You can be blind and see true beauty
Today a friend asked me a simple question.
why did you say I looked beautiful when I know you can’t see me?
My reply
because true beauty isn’t seen, it’s felt.
It got me thinking though, I quite often tell my girlfriends they are beautiful, gorgeous and pretty; either in person or commenting on Facebook or instagram. Have they all thought I was ‘just saying it to be nice’ ?
Facebook and instegram afford me the ability to REALLY look at my friends. By zooming in or magnifying their photographs (which now also makes me sound like a stalker!) I can sit and looking at them, take my time to move around each photograph. (Which now really makes me sound like a crazed stalker! I’m not – but then that is the first thing a stalker WOULD say)
I am not lying when I say they are beautiful, I say they are beautiful because I don’t need to see them, I know them, I know how beautiful they are as a whole person. They are my friends for many different reasons, they all give away both verbal and non-verbal cues to their beauty.
So, it is a true compliment when I call you beautiful or gorgeous. It isn’t a lie, it isn’t an empty gesture or out of habit.
It is the truth.
it also means that my friends have loan of a ‘blind perk’ – they can turn up at my door with no make up on, with a massive boil on the end of their nose and because of what as a blind person I see……. I will still see them as beautiful and gorgeous.
So, next time I pay you a compliment. Accept it. For I do truly mean it.
06
Jun 2017
Fearful times
Last year I was very lucky to be able to attend several gigs, and pretty gigs at that; with Adele, Muse, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and even Placebo. All of these took place in London, a capital known for its security and safety record.
Several weeks ago, a terrorist targeted a Manchester gig. Men, women and even children were caught up in this horrid act that resulted in 22 deaths and many many more suffering.
I am not here to talk about the attack, nor the group behind it, this is not a political post…… I am going to talk about the fear that this has left me with.
I am in fear of this happening at a gig I go to.
I am in fear of putting my friends in danger, because of the additional support they afford me.
I am in fear or letting this fear stop me.
Followng on from the Manchester attack, London saw a savage attack just last weekend. Where a van, usually placed on any street in the country was used to mount the curb and drive into Londoners who had been out enjoying a Saturday evening.
My next gig is in London in just a few weeks. It’s on a Saturday. It’s also at venue I have never been before. By the nature of a gig, one especially that is SOLD OUT. There will be an increase security presents to enable ease of movement for gig goers arriving and leaving, especially with additional support in the nearby tube and railway stations. I am also aware that many concrete barriers have been erected around London at key locations, such as The Bridges that cross The Thames to make it more difficult for a vehicle to be used as a terror weapon.
In wake of the terror attacks, plenty of advice has been given on RUN. HIDE. TELL. This is the bit I fear. What saved many people in both of these attacks was the ability for them to see the danger, see an escape route and to see those who needed help.
So, how do I cope in such a situation without the ability to see?
I can run, and especially if it were needed I would do this, but which way do I run? The fear in all of this isn’t for me. The fear in all of this is for my guiding girl Fizz and my friends.
I know that they would never leave me, but what if by helping me they are put into the way of danger?
What if me being with a guide dog appears as an easy target?
All these questions and fears are building up.
I don’t think I would ever have the answers, but in writing my blog I hope to ease my own fears and ease the fears of those around me.
Not even a trained firearms officer can say how they will cope or how they would deal with being involved in such an attack. As no amount of training can say how you would deal with human nature and the flight or flee reaction.
My friends will walk with me and support me in the same way that they have in the past. My vulnerability will also stand out to our police men and women and other security forces.
Some of my fellow friends with both hearing and visual impairments have said that they have felt additional support has been afforded to them especially in London since the weekend.
I am not going to make this blog about the terrorist that committed these crimes. Because after all the whole reasoning for many acts of terrorism is to divide and terrorise people. And iconically both Manchester and London have actually ‘come together’ supported each other and shown just how great they are as a whole at supporting those who need the support.
So, I have told you my fears, I have explained them, I am not able to completely dismiss them, but I am able to understand them. I am able to know that they will not stop me from going to London, or any other city for that matter.
I may just make sure more so than usual that my phone is charged and my additional battery pack is also charged.
04
Jun 2017
A Sprinkle of Magical Pixie Dust
As a parent myself, I thought hard about the names I gave my children, their father had his opinions. We went through baby books, baby names and even google to help us choose.
My parents, named me Theresa-Claire, as the second born I was afforded a middle name where my sister Samantha wasn’t. I was also afforded the same initials as my father; Trevor Clive. Was it hoped that I would be TC Jr?
I am not in a position to ask these questions. I am however able to tell you how, for as long as I can remember I was called many alternatives to my actual name.
These included ‘Top Cat’ – ‘TC’ – ‘Tessa’ – ‘Tuppence’ and for the majority of my adult life ‘Tee’
When I married I took my husbands surname, when we separated and then divorced to revert to my maiden name would have cost me the fee of a deed poll. So, with my new partner I chose to double barrel his surname on the end of mine.
Becoming Osborne-Bell.
I had never liked my married name, I never made any secret of this. Despite my daughter having my ex-husbands name, I couldn’t and didn’t want to keep it and as we were married when she was born, Osborne never formed part of her name as it has my sons.
Families have their differences, arguments and even irreversible consequences. But I am not prepared to denounce any of my ‘chosen’ name.
But I have found a new ‘nickname’ off the back of it.
Dropping Osborne-Bell to O-Bell. And altering Tee to Tink. And now I am my very own magical, mythical pixie Tink-O-Bell.
Known often just as Tink !
In this past year I have been improving myself, admittedly half-heartedly with the support of my coach and cousin Charlie. I have been working on creating the best version of me. Loosing weight, improving my nutrition and sports performance through the use of Herbalife Shakes, supplements and products.
And this is where my name is key; for my favourite example of Tinkerbell isn’t in PeterPan, it is in Moulin Rouge (played by the singer Kylie) where she is the little green absinthe fairy. Full of fun.
I am now looking to take my involvement with Herbalife further, I am now looking to use my own product result and increased energy with Herbalife to the next step.
….. That’s a whole other chapter that is only just beginning !!
But either way, it is with this involvement of the colour green that I am going to truly become my own version of Tink-O-Bell !!
24
May 2017
This is a WHOLE other challenge (Pretty awesome though)
So, in recent months I have conquered a Cheese-grater, climber my arse off and began to face many of my demons. But none of these, or even all the climbing competitions I took part in last year compared to this mornings events.
Having told you all about my change of volunteer role in Scouting I did what anyone would do; in preparation for an upcoming weekend.
I bought a tent!
I had previously gone to a large outdoors shop with a friend and had a good look at all they had on show, I fell in love with a canvas Tippee. However at just under £800 it wasn’t going to be for me at the moment. I was able to walk among various sizes and layouts. But as with everything, budget was my biggest factor.
I had a check list:
- To have a separate bedroom area.
- To be able to stand up in (although a little crouched was ok)
- Have windows.
- Have a black out bedroom area.
And with all this, and the wise words of a good friend who had bought many a tent. I bought one I felt fit the bill.
I bought a Vango Beta 450 XL in blue.
It arrived yesterday, sat in its box and making me itch with excitement. The rational in me thought I should wait until I had a friend over to help me, however the ‘kid in a candy store’ won out.
And I set about putting it up!
After all, it had an assembly guide of 15 minutes. How difficult could it REALLY be?
Well………..
For a start, it took AN HOUR.
Oh and it was a tad bigger than my garden.
Also, with my garden being totally laid in patio, I wasn’t able to fully ‘pitch’ it. Although with a helping hand of my garden furniture and a few plant pots, I got pretty close!
I had watchful eyes in both Vicky and Fizz who seemed quite amused at times by my antics. They both had a thorough explore of it; both in its flat form and in its ‘pitched’ form.
I photographed my progress just for you.
In the beginning there was just a ground sheet and a flat tent.
And the instruction…..
3 poles, colour coded for ease with 1 pole longer than the other 2.
3 poles …. Check
colohr coded ….. check; if you count 2 being totally black and 1 having a grey section amongst the black colour?
1 longer than the other 2 …. Ummmm. Nope! 1 shorter (grey section) than the other 2 (totally black)
Maybe I should have stopped at that point. But given it was all out of the bag, no harm in carrying on.
So following the colour coding; or rather tiny little black or gray tabs of material on the end of the pole sleeve that I hoped was what the instructions were referring too, I carried on.
It wasn’t a easy as it should have been, not having the space to walk around the outside of the tent, it involves climbing over my garden wall (pictured about, it’s about 3f)
I also had to negotiate the poles with the shed and fence as fully extended they where pretty long (even the short one!)
And then came my garden furniture. With the help of a garden chair, a bench and some plant pots I was able to semi-secure the tent in place.
It was perfect!
The guide ropes and zip toggles are all light blue, there are tension bands on the inside and it has a ‘lip’ to save the weather getting in, should it be wet.
And the added bonus is that I only have to duck my head ever so slightly to move around.
It was hot, it was tricky; but oh wow it was fun! And I did it all by myself. I was bursting with pride, I sent the photos to a friend with the simple of caption
Look what I just did, not bad considering, am knackered now.
Woth the guide time of 15 minutes, with the advisory that first pitch may take slightly longer, I was happy when I discovered it took me and hour. Some people may not feel that is something to be proud of, but for someone who has never pitched a tenth before, who has considerably limited vision and who has no help either with reading the instructions or pointing out where the pole sleeves were…… I am totally amazed and proud with my achievement.
…… Now to take it down!
In comparison that took 30 minutes, it was a simple reverse of the pitch. I folded and rolled my tent, then the ground sheet and even managed to get it all back in the bag! It wasn’t quite as pretty as when I took it out, but with a quick sitting on to help remove the air. It was done and ready to put away for camping later next month.
Now to see how long it takes to pitch in a field !!
Theresa Osborne-Bell |
No comments | Tags: Camping, Disability, doing it, Go Outdoors, independence, Scouting, Tents, Vango, VIP
20
May 2017
I don’t have baggage… I have a full matching set of cases
I may have written about this before, many years ago a friend referred to my past and my baggage as a complete matching luggage set.
Recently I have been undertaking counselling for my anxiety and depression, which in turn has lead me to get this lovely (not) large set of cases out of the dark parts of my mind.
And I have not been enjoying dusting them off or opening them up.
However, the past can have its uses.
It can on the surface have perfect vision.
It can also offer comfort.
However, one thing to remember is that the past is somewhere you once lived. Not somewhere you can revisit to alter.
It is behind you with no re-entry allowed.
It is interesting to think that it can hold the keys to unlocking the future though!
Yes, this post is full of metaphors, but what can you expect at 2.30am after an evening of reflection with friends?
It was not an evening fuelled with alcohol, although maybe too much ginger ale Fizz?
Anyway, I digress…….
As part of my current therapy sessions I am looking at and deconstructing my own core beliefs, my rules, my ‘coping mechanisms’ and eventually this will lead to breaking habits of a lifetime and learning to change, learning to give myself some slack and to (probably most importantly) be able to spot when I am falling into old habits; being able to break them.
After all ‘rules are made to be broken’ (last metaphor I promise!)
Anyone who has undertaken the NHS’s iTalk therapy will have an understanding of what I am talking about.
It is based on CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. A therapy that I did learn of during my own counselling courses, but not one that I followed in great detail…. for the NHS is is a good therapy, it is one that can be provided on either a face to face basis (which I have) or over the phone, saving many ‘man hours’ overheads along with additional anxieties for some who are in receipt of the telephone consultations.
CBT is largely known as a talking therapy, it has many different ‘formulations’ so can be tailored to an individual needs much easier and quicker than some other therapies.
It is a fascinating therapy and one that I am only just learning. However it is one that I can already see as a great working theory that has so much to teach me.
So, watch this space……. I may find a way to expand on this soon.
19
May 2017
I have a question for you
it is time for me to ask for you to help me.
If I were to write a book, giving in sight into my life and how I have got myself in and out of many a situation.
Would you read it?
I am talking raw emotion, sarcasm and plenty of giggles.
What would you find interesting to read about?
Can you please be so kind as to comment below and help me with some research xx
Many Thanks xx
