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The end of a (half) Era

  Today is one filled with mixed emotions, concerns and thoughts.  Today, 18th January 2015 is the last working day for my guide dog Vicky.  We have been working together as a qualified team since 18th November 2009, and it has been an amazing 5

So….. Today, this happened !!

Me & Fizz outside EICA

It’s almost 11.00 o’clock, 12 hours after this crazy day started. The climbing arena was nothing like I had ever seen before and no matter how much I had researched and looked at photo after photo I was not prepared for the quarry that I

Maybe I Should have said something before…..

Well, this is something new……. I am sat in the passenger seat of my friends car doing 70+ MPH on the M6 Motorway travelling on my way to Edinburgh; while typing this blog.  My iPad is tethered to my phone for 4G and my voiceover

Another church and The Angel of the North….. Was it a sign?

Round 4 of the Paraclimbing series for 2016, the final in this years competitions, another great location and my chance to shine. Newcastle Climbing Centre is set within the walls of an old church, one that was much larger and steeped in more history than

Who needs a comfort zone anyway?

Its been a while. 2024 threw me some pretty horrid curve balls, I was exhausted; emotionally, mentally and physically.  And I allowed myself to get lost among it all. 2025 has been about making peace with the demons, coping with the new way of doing

Archimedes would be proud

As a VIP, I have little tweaks in the way in which I do things to enable me to feel like I am as ‘normal’ as everyone else. (Even though the strong independent part of me knows that I don’t need to be the same as or normal like everyone else!)

One of my tweaks, is to fill my bath to a successful level by using the timer on my iPhone. First the hot water, then the cold. Of course this isn’t fallible, sometimes the water is still too hot or often too cold.

Either way, I am not flooding the bathroom or even close to washing the floor!

As a busy mum, who has increased her classes and time spent at the gym, it has actually been several weeks since I last had a bath (having showered instead, so I am clean and not smelly)

So imagine my surprise yesterday evening, upon filling my bath as my usual tweak, checking the temperature and getting in that I discover that the water didn’t cover me as much as before.

I stood up and used my hands to measure the level of the water, it was the right amount of water, give or take…. So, there was only one answer for it.

There is less of me in the bath to displace the water !!!! YIPPEE

All that time at the gym and eating lovely seasonal fruit is paying off.

And now back to the drawing board on the timings for the water level?

Or, as I did last night, sit in the lower level bath and fill up when I am in it to get the desired depth and temperature.

Either way, I am a very happy bunny.

Not such a relaxing coffee

It has taken me some time to sit down and write this post, (nearly 5 months in fact) as it is hard for me to recall the events without sadness and upset, rather than anger and bitterness.

I am a very easy going kinda gal, I do not see myself as someone who carries a chip on my shoulder because I have an eye condition. I also feel that I am open to alternative perceptions and don’t make the automatic assumption that every person that I come into contact with is aware of sight loss or how to interact with a guide dog. After all, why would they?

I have been into places where the staff or members of the public are not aware of the regulations regarding a guide dog, I am more than happy in such situations to calmly and politely explain the law regarding working dogs.

Just because a member of staff is unaware of the regulations is not their fault, the staff in question are usually very willing to listen to my explanation and then help me with my requirements.

There have been occasions where staff are not aware of the regulations and are not prepared to listen, in these instances (thankfully few and far between) I make contact with my local guide dog office, who are more than happy to contact the staff and explain things to them.

However, the incident in question was not one of lack of awareness, it was one of personal attitude coming forward into a professional role. Something that having worked within retail for most of my career is a major ‘no no’

And for that reason, I hope that you understand why this has caused me such upset.

Having spent the morning doing some shopping in my local town, both me and the pooch were tired out and in need of refreshment. So I stopped at a coffee shop, where I could feed my caffeine addiction and allow my guide dog to rest her paws with a nice bowl of water.

Upon entering the cafe, a member of staff approached me and showed me to a table right by the door. I thought nothing of this as the interior of the cafe was quite dark in comparison to the bright sunshine of outside, so it gave me time to settle myslef and allow my eye’s to adjust to the difference in light levels.

Although a bright day, it was very chilly and on removing my coat I realised that the table was in a direct draught from the door, so having adjusted to the light levels I got up to move to a table further within the cafe, as there were several empty tables dotted around.

On moving to a different table, a member of staff came upto me and told me to stay where he had seated me and he would come to me, so I explained that I was moving out of the draught. This was when the ‘politeness’ ended.

He said that I needed to sit where he had put me because of my dog, so I calmly explained that she was a working dong and allowed. I explained that I didn’t wish to sit in the draught, so he said that I could sit at a table at the very back of the cafe. When I asked him why I couldn’t sit at the table I thought was more than suitable, as it had ample room underneath for my guide dog. The member of staff then explained that he did not want my dog to bite or upset the other customers.

Again, calmly I explained that she was a working dog and as such would sit quietly under the table away from anyone else.

That was when the member of staff told me that he was aware of the rules regarding “my dog” but if I wanted to be in the cafe then I would sit where he put me.

At this point, I was struggling to contain my upset and explained that I would not be placed where he saw fit, I explained that as a visually impaired person, my guide dog was my mobility aid and that I felt that he was discriminating against me because of her. He told me that me insisting on having my dog in the cafe was causing great upset to the other customers, who he felt would leave were I to stay and continue to cause a ‘scene’.

I informed him that because of his attitude I would not be staying in the cafe and that he had lost potential business. I bit back the tears as I spoke. As I felt humiliated and forced to leave through no fault of my own.

At this point a man who had witnessed the events stood up and offered to take me to the near by Costa, as he and his family were disgusted by the way in which I had been treated and would no longer stay in the cafe.

I had heard several other murmurs as I was leaving. I did not take the man and his family up on their offer, I just wanted to get away. So I walked for a little while before contacting my local guide dog team and explaining the situation to them.

The member of staff I spoke with in the office was very kind and understood my upset and was able to understand what I was saying despite my sobs on the telephone. She assured me that she would pass the matter on to the public relations officer and that she would be in contact with me.

My local guide dog team were fabulous and got in contact with the cafe in question straight away, but not before they had received two further phone calls by concerned members of the public that had witnessed my ordeal.

After writing a very strong worded letter, the guide dog team received no reply or comment from the cafe.

It was over a month later when two friends, along with their guide dogs went into the cafe for a spot of lunch, that they were privy to wonderful service and staff that were more than helpful to each of their needs.

So, I took it that the cafe or in particular the member of staff that I had encountered had learnt from the letter they had received. That I bit the bullet and went back in, this time I couldn’t face going alone, so took a friend and my son.

The service was fabulous, but I could not relax, I found myself listening to each of the staff members to hear if I could recognise the member of staff that I had previously had the misfortune of speaking with.

I was not relaxed, nor did I feel that I was being fair on my son or friend as I was ‘on edge’ so we drank our drinks and left.

I do not feel that I will be able to return to the cafe in question again.

The silly little things

We are having some beautiful sunny hot weather here on the south coast at the moment. So having taken my beautiful black long haired guide dog out for a good walk earlier this morning before the heat picked up, I needed to pop into town.

So out came the good olde faithful cane….. And off I went.

I have to alter how I use my cane in some shops in town, with their lovely smooth floors no-one can hear me if I use the roller tip and glide it along. So I need to go back to the basic ‘tap tap’ figure of eight so I can be heard and noticed.

Having done my shopping in the store with the big W on the front! I was walking to the exit when a kind gentleman asked if I needed assistance locating the lift, as the store is set into a hill at the back.

I thanked him for his offer, but asked if he could he so kind as to navigate me towards the escalator instead.

He sounded surprise at my request! And was concerned for my safety, so offered to come down with me. I did explain this was not necessary, but he insisted.

So down the escalator we went together (it’s on about half a flight of stairs long)

When we reached the bottom I thanked him, he then went to go back up the escalator to continue his shopping (as I hadn’t realised he wasn’t actually leaving!) So I politely and quietly followed him back up to the store.

When at the top, he asked if I was ok? So I explained that I was perfectly fine.

I went on to explain that as a guide dog user, I was unable to use escalators when working with her, so in a ‘kid in a sweet shop’ kind of excitement I was making the most of the experience !!

It sent him away with a smile on his face and me with a lovely piece of advice from him,

“Take time to do the ‘silly little things’ in life, because they often sculpt you into the sensible person you become”

So yes, I was the grown woman who rose the escalators today. But it is a little thing that I miss, that many take for granted. So I made the most of it and enjoyed myself.

I can’t see if people where looking at me, and as such I no longer worry about what they are thinking !!

Insight in to the future – I didn’t like it

Yesterday morning I ran out of hayfever tablets, and it wasn’t until getting ready to go to bed after my eyes had felt ‘scratchy’ all evening that I remembered. But within few short minutes it was too late.

The damage was done and there was absolutely nothing I could do.

My eyes started to weep a sticky kind of tear, my eye lids swelled and involuntarily my eyes were closed.

Painfully so, too the point that I had to physically pull them open to try to put drops in, but the pain was so great I gave up on that idea.

All of this is down to my hay-fever, not my eye condition. So I wasn’t overly concerned.

But I wasn’t prepared for what happened and how what followed made me feel.

Not being able to put the eye drops in, the only other option was sleep or try too.

But to get to bed, I first had to turn off the lights and ‘close-up’ the house for the night.

I can and often do walk around my house without the lights on and I know where everything is … Well, maybe apart from the odd toy, or worse a large dog smoked bone !!

But, this was very different.

If I close my eyes when all the lights are on, I can still see the brightness from the lights through my eyelids.

And this was exactly what it was like last night, only because of the swelling and pain, I couldn’t just open my eyes a see the shapes of the lights.

This brightness was very uncomfortable, and more upsetting than I though possible.

Walking around the house turning off the lights was something that physically I could do, but emotionally it was heart breaking.

It wasn’t until the house was in complete darkness that I was able to feel calm again.

There is likely to come a time in the not so distant future when all that I will be able to see is light from dark, with possible shadowing.

Lastnight was an insight (pun intended) to what that world will feel like.

And I don’t think it is ever a world that I will he ready for.

Although registered as severely sight impaired, which many class as ‘blind’ (even in the medical world) I can still see, all be it small amounts in little detail, this is enough, my brain and memory can fill in the rest.

How will my memory cope with filling in the rest when all I can see is light and dark?

How will I tell that my children are amiling if I can only see their shadows?

Will I ever be able to cope with the fact that my sight is ever diminishing?

Or understanding how I will fit in an ever shrinking world?

Any ideas would be grateful received.

Thank you.

When the guide dog became the attraction at the zoo


My guide dog is often admired when we are out and about.  Many people are surprised when they see a dog in an inside environment, such as a shopping centre or cinema.  But people appear much more surprised when they meet us at somewhere like a theme park.

As it’s the Easter weekend I got the opportunity to go to Drayton Manor to visit Thomas Land with my little boy.  We had a fabulous time in the park, lots of rides and my GD Vicky enjoyed all the fussing she was getting while we waited in line for our turn.

She didn’t go on any of the rides with us, she stayed with one of our party so that I had her to guide me, but didn’t have to miss out on the fun and thrills of the rides.

Drayton Manor have their own zoo with a collection of owls, monkeys and a black leopard.

Having phoned ahead of our visit, I had spoken with one of the keepers and they were happy for my GD to go into the zoo area, with the provision that if she of the animals appearedto be distressed I was to walk away.

There were numerous zoo staff around the zoo who were very happy to see us and help explain what was in the enclosures.

The monkeys were the first to spot Vicky.

They were very interested and intreaged by her.  They came up to the bars on their cage to see her.

Photo 19-04-2014 13 48 51

Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43Then there was black leopard, she came right up to see Vicky, yet she wasn’t stressed or showing any aggression, just interest.

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And then there was the gibbons, they wanted to play, they were chatting away to Vicky and she in return was making noises to them too.  But again, with a zoo keeper on hand, I was reassured that this was friendly chatter that they often sharedamongst themselves during play times.

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Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43I was able to get some lovely pictures of the animals in the zoo, so once home I could actually sit down and look through the pictures with my son and he was telling me about what he thought of when he had seen the animals.  For me, seeing animals when visiting the zoo with my children is not something that I get to do very often.

It is only in more recent years that zoo’s have allowed guide dogs and other assistance dogs into the grounds, with many restrictions for the safety of the animals and the dogs.  With Vicky by my side, both me and my son were able to have a much closer encounter to the animals than we had ever thought possible.

A Gem Lettuce of a Find

As A woman who has suffered from my ‘over-indulgences’ with food, I am tackling my life with a healthy eating attitude to food in addition to getting fitter. Like many who have suffered with depression, I let myself go and used ‘rubbish food’ as my crutch to make me happy…… And guess what? It didn’t work!

Anyway, now I am an active member of my local Slimming World group. With a fabulous consultant in Liz, who is herself on the slimming world journey. She has great snippets of information and ideas to help us all alone.

A few weeks ago, whilst in group, we were talking about how time consuming it is to make and prepare home-made chips. A member in the group admitted that she didn’t have the time for the ‘faffing about’, this was when Liz told us of a local greengrocers that sold pre-cut potatoes for chips.

As a VIP, it has been a very long time since I have had proper ‘home-made’ chips, as although I can peel a potato, slicing it for chips is far beyond me, without the risk if injury that is!!

So, off I went to a nearby Stubbington village to The Fruit Basket…..

WOW! it was a beautifully laid out store, clearly arranged by fruit, core veg, salad, root veg and a lovely selection of miniature veg. Then there was the fridge with the milk and next to that the largest selection of ‘fresh’ pre-prepared fruit and veg.

Not like the bags in the supermarkets, but simply washed, peeled and cut assortments of goodies.

Unfortunately, no pre-cut potatoes for chips.

They did have, peeled and cut potatoes, onions, (which I haven’t cooked with in years) carrots, squash and swede to name just a few of the bit I picked up. And at very reasonable prices with an offer of 4 bags for the price of 3 I was sold.

This in addition to fruit I had picked up, which I must say is still fresh over 2 weeks later (unlike my last fruit/veg shop from the supermarket)

I was a very happy bunny, with a large bag of fresh, healthy foods. That when I got home, I felt it was only right for me to contact the company to tell them how helpful I had found them.

They have 2 shops in my local area and their warehouse is based within Gosport where they supply many local restaurants and catering companies…. Which I why they are able to offer the freshly prepared fruit and veg within their shops to the general public.

So off went my email, I commented on how accessible the pre-prepared range was to me and would enable me to be more independent with my cooking and more adventurous with what I ate (to be honest if I couldn’t cut it or de-seed it easily, I often wouldn’t bother.) I also mentioned about the chips, especially as my Slimming World consultant had mentioned it to a room full of about 45 men and women.

This was the reply I got…….

Hi Theresa,
Thank you for your email.
Glad to hear our prep fruit & veg is useful to you.
We stopped selling the chips due to lack of demand, but we would love to give them another go and see if there is any improvement.
Our prep team will start preparing them in the next few days, so hopefully you will see them in the shop by the end of the week!
Many thanks
Jenni

And true to their word, I went back on Monday this week and there they were….. Bags of big chunky chips.

All I did was par-boil them, then popped them in the oven with a light coating of ‘fry-light’ and salt……. They were delicious and went down a treat with the kids too (which is always a bonus!)

The Fruit basket will be my regular stop for my fruit and veg needs, you get what you pay for and in saying that, as I have actually found them better value for money than my local supermarket.

Scaling a Mountain.

It has been a busy few weeks and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath or update you all on what has been going on in the world of Tee.

After months, months and months of putting it off, I booked myself on a new course to really test my ability to do something that you wouldn’t usually find a VI doing. I did a taster course in rock climbing.

I know, many have questioned me “why rock climbing?’
The answer is simple. Since loosing my sight I have also lost my fear of heights.

So in answer to them, “Why not?’

I have a friend who introduced me to it, a few years ago when he spoke of how he used to climb, but as his climbing partner had moved away and life had got away with him, he hadn’t been.

So, booked the course and off we went to Calshot, a fabulous climbing (among other things) facility.

Yellow indoor climbing wall with multiple coloured climbings holds and the centres logo "Calshot Activity Centre" written in black across the middle of the wall.

Unfortunately, like many great places, it is a 60 mile round trip. But definitely worth the trip. But as you can see from the images, they have some wonderful climbs.

I was incredibly nervous. More so, when we arrived and I was the only girl doing the course. Other than my friend, the seven other men were on a work night out. My nerves were soon settled by the course instructor Adam.

Upon completing the online booking form for the course, I had detailed my visual impairment, so Adam was prepared. He was happy to take his time with me to feel and understand the harness before I put it on. He explained that he had never worked with a visually impaired climber before, so if I needed more help or even less, to just be honest with him, so that he can ensure me the best possible experience whilst being safe.

Pan view of Calshot climbing walls.  Shows several of the centres climbing walls, each of which is in a different colour, with multiple coloured climbing holds.  The yellow at the far right of the image has a person climbing half way up to the top.

We all went out to the first wall after we had put our harnesses on, ready to start our experience. As their was nine on the course, we were put into groups of three’s. That gave each team a climber, a belay and an anchor, giving each of us the opportunity to have several goes within each role.

It is hard for me to put into words how it felt the first time I started to climb. It was a mixture of nerves, panic, strain and probably the biggest dose of adrenaline I have felt in an incredibly long time.

Having had the opportunity to belay before I climbed, the concern I had about someone holding my weight was quashed. The guy I belayed was quite tall and heavier than me, but when I was helping guide him down, he didn’t feel it. (I am a girl after all and weight it always a concern, one that doesn’t decrease as my sight does!)

So, standing in front of the wall (the blue wall shown in the photograph above) and looking at it in such closeness.

I froze.

I literally hit a wall.

I could see the blue of the wall, but I could only make out the occasional climbing holds, which all seemed to be much further away than my hands and feet could reach.  So I started, reaching first with my hands and hap-hazardly with my feet, but I was on my way, very slowly.  This was where Simon came in, he started to explain to me where I could move, simple instructions like “left foot left knee’  but it was enough… It meant that although I couldn’t see the holds by my feet or even my feet for that matter, I could see my hands and where they could go, with the explanations from the ground I made it about half way, before fear and emotion kicked in.

Once getting back on the ground and speaking with Simon and Adam, they explained that often the belayer will give such instructions from the ground to the climber, regardless of skill.  As it was often easier to see a hold from the ground.

After we had all had a chance to scale this wall, we were taken to a different wall, this was where Adam showed his concern for my sight and my ability.  As he had moved us to a wall that had an over-hang on it, which he was concerned that if I were to climb it, I may hit my head.  So he placed my team on a wall slightly away from the main group.  To a yellow wall, that went straight up.

The yellow was easier to see the holds on (well most of them) as the lighting on this side of the centre was clearer too.

I could go on and on about what it was like to climb this wall, but I’m not here to bore you.

After we had climbed, we went back to the team room to de-harness and this was when after the others had left, I was able to have a very honest conversation with Adam and Simon.  Adam was already able to see that I had ‘caught the bug’ and he was so kind as to talk me through different harnesses, climbing shoes and different options for learning to climb.

As we were leaving, he even gave me my own piece of 10mm rope so that I could learn to make a ‘figure of 8’ and practice it in preparation for taking part in the induction training course.

So, my new love affair began…..

That was six weeks ago now!!  My induction course is booked for April, but in the meantime I have been climbing pretty much every week as Simon’s guest at the climbing wall.

(But that is another post….)

Blind Fail !!

Tonight while walking home from a meeting I had one of my ‘blind fails’, this one is also a bit of a blonde moment too.

I love walking, day or evening, rain or shine. Admittedly I prefer walking in nicer weather! I am happy walking in my local area, as I know the area well and with my guide dog by my side I feel safer as a single girl walking than if I were fully alone.

I am very aware of my surroundings, both from a VI point of view and a street sense way.

So tonight while walking home I thought I was being followed. I could hear someone very close to me, when I slowed down, so did they. When I sped up, they too sped up. When I stopped completely, they too stopped completely. I crossed the road three times and so did they!

Yet every time I looked around, I couldn’t see anyone.

It was at that point that I walking into a shop, with it’s good lighting and staff members I was beginning to feel safer and relaxed, when I realised that the person following me was still with me.

How though?

And that was when I found out the truth.

I wasn’t being followed at all…. I was in fact spooking myself with my own bag!

Several weeks ago I bought a new backpack from ‘Kipling’ a beautiful pink backpack, with it’s own little monkey keychain. That I discovered tonight swings when I walk!

Despite having the bag for several weeks, tonight is the first time I have not had my bag full.

So for the first time since buying my bag, I could actually hear the cheeky little monkey hitting my bag !!

So, as the title suggests…. A blind fail !!

Or should that read …. A blonde fail ??

Time to find me sea legs

You may, if you have followed me for a white remember me saying that I am setting myself personal challenges. Last Year it was the Great South Run, this year I am going sailing.

Yes you read right, sailing!!

I have travelled by ferry many a time, but I have never sailed. And by sailing I mean, all hands on deck and joining in whole heartily with the skipper and my fellow crew to sail a yacht.

So, come July I am setting sail with fellow VI’s with VI-SA, the Visually Impaired Sailing Association.

I have already met many of my fellow crew at the VI-SA annual gathering that I went to last weekend in London. Where I discovered, that just like me, they don’t take sight loss too seriously and most definatiely don’t let it stop them from doing anything.

So, watch this space for more updates. This years challenge is personal for me,, so will not be a fundraising venture. That will be saved for next year with something big!

The pooch surprises me again.

My guide dog has given me so much independence and confidence to do things in the 4 1/2 yeas we have been working together, she has also listened to all my woes and never told a soul.

She is now in a stage in her working glide where she is slowing down and her ‘stubborn retriever’ personality is overpowering her guide dog training.  But she is still working, I have had to allow myself time to adjust to this slower pace, but a slower guide dog is still a much better option than a long cane.  Definitely for me, although I am aware that isn’t the case for everyone.

When she was trained, Vicky also recovered additional ‘target training’ from her handler.  This means I can say key words and she will find these for me, for me, this is key when out and about, she is trained for crossing buttons, bins, postboxes, doors, counters and lifts.  Since being with me, she has picked up a few extras from the ‘usual’ places we go to.  She can now find cash points, she can also find a costa coffee house, even in towns we have never visited before.

But tonight she surprised me totally with her target.  Arriving in town we popped to the cashpoint, then leaving there I said “let’s go to the pub then” to which her posture stiffened and she was off, passed the ‘local’ pub that we were stood near into the nicer pub, which was the one we haven’t been in for months and months.  But she knew!

The costa coffee I could put down to being a ‘far too regular a route’ but the pub?  She didn’t just go to the one we were stood by.

Tonight, after what has been a challenging time with her has just affirmed how much more than a mobility aid she is.  She has a memory, she can think on her paws and she does so much more for me than get me from A to B.  She keeps me independant.

Oh and tonight she got me a free drink from a stranger while I waited for my friend!!! BONUS

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